Trouble caring for our dog.

Question
Got a dog a few months ago from a breeder. Roxy, when we got her, was very shy and hadn't been well socialized at about 2 years old. She bonded with me immediately but regardless of how often my boyfriend gives her treats or praises her, she's petrified of him and will even nip at him when he goes to put her leash on, EVEN if he approaches her in a non-threatening manner being extra cautious but still firm to establish he is leader. Our main difficulty is overcoming the boundaries of caring for her; such as letting her out into the yard. She wont follow him to the door like she does for me, and she certainly wont come in if he's holding the door open for her. I've read advice on similar topics saying that he has to wait for the dog to approach her because him making advances toward her is apparently considered a threat. However by allowing him to approach her that's also showing a sign of submission, as only the alpha has the right to initiate contact with others. Even if this approach was taken, how is he supposed to get her in and out of the house to potty if he can't make any advances toward her? She's not treat inspired at all- she'll only take them if he's sitting with my on the couch. He even feeds her from his hand on the couch but the moment he stands up or anything she'll cower. He's not aggressive toward her or anything; and she's even warmed up to my dad and other men quickly. There's so much advice out there on caring for the dog and being patient letting her take her time; but that isn't exactly possible when my boyfriend has to bring her in and out daily as well as to be fed and he certainly doesn't have the time to stay out there waiting hours for her to come in. (And yes he actually did wait outside of the door holding it for around an hour one day while she hid at the other end of the yard. She's just NOT going to choose to go up to him.) How can he establish his dominance as leader to get her to obey him yet still not consider it 'threatening'?? Please help, thanks...

Answer
We have a dog here that decided she was MINE, but she was to be my daughter's agility dog and needed to be responsive to her. My daughter took over every aspect of that dog's care, from feeding to grooming, to having it in her room with her constantly. When the dog approached me for attention, I would growl at her and otherwise ignore her. When she tried to sneak into my bedroom at night, I would remove her and put her in my daughter's room. I had to stop going to the agility trials because she would look for me there. While the dog eventually decided that my daughter was a lot more fun to be around than I was, she *still* comes running to me after a trial or after training to tell me about her day.

You need to do something similar. I would keep a long line on the dog (only when there is supervision) so that she will be easier to reel back into the house. Actually I might keep a leash on her and have it attached to BF at all times so that the dog will be forced to move around the house with him. He needs to take her for daily walks, be the one who feeds her, and basically be the only one to interact with her. And he needs to talk to her in an upbeat, higher-pitched voice. Some men with deeper voices can be a bit scary if the dog is not used to men. And, needless to say, you need to totally back off from the dog.

As to treats, while I never recommend them, I would up the ante and find something that she absolutely cannot refuse. Cheese is usually a good one... sometimes small pieces of chicken or bits of hotdog. Slice up a hotdog and nuke it in the microwave until it is crisp like a potato chip; dogs love those things!

Karen