Younger cat bullying older one

Question
I have a 2 1/2 year old Selkirk Rex that I adopted 3 months ago.  Thinking she needed a companion, I then adopted a 4 month old kitten.  They're both great cats, with one exception; whenever the older one eats, the kitten has to get in there too and the older one just walks away.  Same thing when I'm holding the older one in my lap, the kitten jumps up too and the older one just leaves.  The kitten, of course, behaves like a kitten, but my Selkirk Rex just gives up and lets the kitten take over. I feel sorry for her.  Any advice?
Thanks,
Myrna

Answer
Hi Myrna,

Dealing with multiple cats in the home can be a challenge sometimes - but I do find that even when the cats sometimes get on eachothers' nerves, cats with other feline friends are more active and mentally and physically healthier. So please don't doubt that you did a good thing by getting a companion for your adult cat. Things will settle down eventually of course as the kitten grows out of some of her high energy.

First, I'll address the feeding issue. Some cats are very passive about their food, I have one of those as well. The best approach in this case to make sure both cats are getting their share of food, is to feed them separately. I always recommend feeding a canned food or a raw meat diet fed as 2-3 meals a day, never dry food left out all day, which leads to obesity, diabetes and other food and diet-related mental and physical issues.

Hopefully, you are already feeding a grain-free canned food, most appropriate for cats as obligate carnivores. I feed my own cats a home made raw diet (more info on that here www.felinenutrition.net and here www.catinfo.org) and here's how I deal with feeding. Of my 3 cats, 2 are high energy males and one is a couch potato smaller female. Obviously the first 2 need more food that the last one - in this case the female eats 1/2 cup of raw food per day and the 2 males each eat 3/4 cup. I feed them breakfast at 8am together, and since they all eat enthusiastically after a night with no food they clean their plates quickly and there is no hogging of food. I feed them again around 6pm when I return from work, and the same thing - they eat all the food within 10 minutes. Later before bedtime, I feed the 2 males an additional meal by closing them in the bedroom with their food so the female (who loves her food but tends to be chubbier) can't steal any. I make this my female cat's "me" time by brushing her and petting her while the boys eat - she's not a lap cat so we do what she enjoys.

If my cats didn't eat their food so quickly (which they did not back when I fed canned food, they were not as enthusiastic about eating), I would separate them at feeding time and/or reduce the amount of food in each meal so they clean their plates. Feeding smaller more frequent meals is healthiest anyway.

As for the problem with the kitten hogging attention and annoying your adult cat off your lap, I sympathize as I have a similar scenario with my 2 male cats. If our 13 year old is on the bed or a lap and the 12 year old jumps up, the older cat just leaves. I address this problem by setting aside time for each cat to be with my husband or I alone. You may want to set aside a specific time of day to close the kitten in a bedroom or part of the house away from you and the adult cat and allow her the opportunity to spend time with you alone. If you attempt to do this at the same time every day, your cat will pick up on the routine and should learn that that is "her" time with you. Don't try to force attention on her, of course - we all know how cats want to be the one to come to you. Just start closing the kitten away (if you have a spouse, room-mates or children, the kitten can play with them) and go about your business in the hopes your adult cat will come to you - or if she enjoys brushing etc indulge her in that. It may take days/weeks for her to settle in to the routine and recognize that at that time the kitten will not bother her. Once the kitten grows up you can do this for both cats - create "me" time for each one. It's the best solution I have found to keep things close and harmonious.