Show shy or buddy sour?

Question
QUESTION: I am 47. I had a horse when I was 13, but had no formal training. I just learned by owning a horse for 14 years.  Recently I bought my 11 year old daughter a horse that was recommended by her riding instructor.  He is about 16.  He is a Thoroughbred and was raced 3 times at the age of two.  I don't know much about his background, except that the previous owners have admitted to having the same problems we are having.  The horse does great during riding lessons at the stable where we board him.  We took him to a small training show last October and he was wonderful.  He was calm, did whatever was asked in all events including a costume competition where he was dressed as a unicorn.  We have just started our show season again and we took him to a junior live stock show where my daughter entered the halter showing competition.  The horse was agitated the minute we took him off the trailer.  He would not be separated from the mare that was brought with him.  During the competition, he reared up while my daughter was doing the ground work with him.  He would not stand still and kept whinnying for the other horse.  We finally had to take him outside the show ring.  He continually paced in a circle and whinnied until we loaded him back in the trailer.  We tried another show 2 weeks later.  When we arrived at the show grounds, he unloaded and then was very agitated. He paced and wouldn't stand to be groomed.  We tried walking him around the show arena.  He wouldn't budge unless the horse that came with him was near him.  We were at the show 8 hours and every event that my daughter tried to enter, our horse was agitated and would not go into the arena until the other horse that came with us went first.  Finally near the end of the day when my daughter tried the barrels, poles and sticks, our horse would go into the arena after the horse he came with finished the event.He did complete the events without the other horse being beside him.  We don't know if he was just exhausted or what?  I don't know what to do to help him settle down at the shows. I don't know if the other horse made him anxious or if he just gets anxious at shows.  The previous owner said they had problems with him at shows too.  Since we had such a good experience at the first show, I am not sure what to think.  The horse he goes to the shows with is boarded at the same ranch but not in the same pasture.  Our horse is in a stall at night and in a pasture with 3 mares during the day.
Some have told me we need to sell him.  My daughter is very attached to him, so I would like to try to help him learn to settle down.  Do you have any suggestions?

ANSWER: Well, it is never the horses fault.  So to me the answer is simple, explaining it so you get is not so easy.  This horse is not the problem, you and your daughter don't understand horses.  This horse does not like shows for the same reason you would not like them if you were a horse.  This is what the horse thinks, I get loaded, I travel and loud trailer, I am scared and nervous, I get taken out in a crowded place that I don't know, so I am more nervous, the only friend I know and fell safe with is my horse buddy and then I am pulled away, taken to a strange place with strange horses, it is loud, I get ridden hard, probably in a bit that hurts with a kid that is pulling on the reins and hurting my mouth, and then I get tied up at the trailer and then taken back home.

So if you were horse would like shows?  Can this be made more enjoyable for horse, sure.  But can this improve that much with an 11 year old child that is not educated in horsemanship, understanding a horse or on how a horse thinks and feels.  A horse is a simple creature.  They want safety and security, they get this from a herd and a strong leader.

I could give you a perfect horse and in a about a month or two depending on how much you handle the horse, you would be having the same problems.

A horse has to test his leader, to ensure the herd leader is always the strongest and smartest.  So horses test people all the time.  Some don't know it, some dont see it, some see at something else, some over react to it, all of which confuse the horse.  Soon the horse test more and more and soon thinks he is the leader.

Fixing this without understand how it gets that way is not possible.

You can read my site and it might help you understand a horse, but if your daughter is handling the horse, it does not matter what you know, only what she does.

Not sure if this helped...

Rick

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Okay.  Are you telling me that a child can't learn to be a leader for a horse or that we can't do shows????  Basically you have said we don't understand horses and that we would ruin any horse we touch no matter what kind of horse we bought.  I have already stated that we are new at this with very little training and want to learn.  Can you direct me to someone in our area that could help us?  We live near Dallas Texas.

Answer
A child can be a leader if they understand a horse and move its feet.  It is more difficult for a child to understand all the communication to effective deal with horses.  If the horse is handled by others that understand and keep the horse in line, the horse will respect people, so the horse will not challenge the child as much or as aggressive.  However, when a horse is handled by few or no people that understand them, then the horse test the people and each time the people fail to see the test and react appropriate to the test, then the thinks he has to be leader, so as leader he will test more and each time he wins he reinforces that he is leader.

You are right that any horse can be messed up or fixed depending on who is handling him.  

I would say 75-85 percent of horses owners don't understand horses.  I grew up in Dallas and rode all the time, I never understood horses.  I was told to be tough, put the horse in his place, make him listen, don't let him push you around, kick him to go, pull to stop and show him who is boss.  So I man-handled horses for many years, not knowing any better.  It was wrong, but I could ride and could make a horse listen.  It was still wrong.

Once you study the horse and it becomes a passion to be a good horseman, then you start to understand.  You realize that horses are not dogs or cats, they are very different and they are a prey animal, much different than predators like us, dogs and cats.  They have a different mind set, they see the world different and their survival skills are different.  There sight is very different, there reactions to fear is different.  Lots and lots of stuff to consider.

Too many people get into horses, don't realize this, get hurt and then blame the horse.  

There is so much information on the net, books, barns, clinics, videos, etc.  This is not rocket science, anyone can learn if they put the time in and make the effort, but most don't.  They want to hear the easy answer and it just does not exist.

You can go to barns, find trainers, watch people work with horses, watch trainers train, all of this will let you see wrong and right things to do.  Go to the book store, have a cup of coffee and read the horse magazines, they all have training tips and ideas to fix problems.  Kids needs old horses that have been around, been exposed to lots of things and are not going to react to too much.  The old saying, young troopers need old horses.  

Moving a horse lets him know you are higher and in charge.  So ground work is really important.  Understand herd behavior will help you move him so he sees you as a leader.

I told you that you could read my site, I put it together to help people understand horses.  If you learn about them, then you can teach your daughter.

Hope this helps

Rick