standard who is alpha question

Question
i have a 5 year old neutered male standard. i got him with his 7 year old mother, who the breeder was "done" breeding, so he's never lived a day without his mom. he is definitely the alpha. he spent lots of time at my parents (they would go get them while i was at work to be with them) so he thinks their house is his domain too.
they recently rescued a 100lb. female spayed malamute, who is extremely dominant...and who tried to lay her head over his neck every time he comes over to "his" other house. he hates this, and just will not submit to her. the female is happy to submit and lets the malamute lay her head over her every time they have contact. my poodle (his name is whimsey) just doesn't want to submit to her, but neither is he agressive with her in anyway. he just lets her know (runs away, a growl) that he doesn't like that. she isn't accepting this and attacks him and they have gotten into several fights.
we don't know what to do! we don't see either dog changing...seems the poodle is actually very scared of the malamute, but not scared enough to submit. i think all would be well if he would just submit, because she will not give up being in charge. any suggestions? right now, we are just kind of giving up and not getting the dogs together at all.
thanks!

Answer
I wish I did have a good solution - but I have two females (both neutered) who sometimes get in a scrap over the same thing.  I've found the best thing to do is spray water (I have a spray bottle for just this purpose) when I hear theme gearing up to fight (the growling).  They are both highly offended that I'd spray them with water and it tends to break the tension for the moment.  

Other than that, the only thing I can suggest is a good trainer, who might be able to help modify the behavior of one or both of the dogs.

I wish you luck!