children and heirarchy

Question
I have a 10 month old lab who is extermely stubborn.  Some days he's great....others he's horrible and there's no correlation to attention/exercise.  He's absolutely huge and difficult to manage. (80lbs and 38" at the shoulder..all muscle) When he was 4 months old my Dad was very sick and I created a monster. He was on a run or in a crate all day....9 visits by the dog officer for barking, wasted money on a bark collar(last resort for me...I hate them and he barks right through it- loves the taste of bitter apple too! ?).  Trying to reestablish control....some days I think we've got it and some days I wonder if ever... He won't nip and mouth at me but he chews on and runs over all 4 of my kids.  They're 5,6 8 and 11.  What can I do to establish them as Alphas?  Local breeder suggested quick, firm grab of upper muzzle and a NO Bite! which has worked well for me but kids can't catch him. My oldest and I can put our knee up to stop the jumping...not working real well but we're trying...doesn't work for the little ones.....I tried the whole person through the door first...he ran off and wouldn't come.  Great game to him and now he looks for opportunity...very bad since I live on a main road that he heads for.  (Not the 14 acres of woods in the Back yard?!!!) Also, what else can I do for exercise....we play fetch and tug of war, but I can't walk him nearly enough.  He NEEDS to run but won't come if he's off the leash...what do I do? 45 min drive to nearest doggie walkable area which is scary in the dark and cold now that winter is here. I'm afraid to just find a neighborhood as I could never control him if he wanted to go after a cat or another dog.  I have a Haltie collar for walking him so I can but I can't get it on lately as he hates it and I can't hold him still to put it on properly.

Answer
Do you really have time to address this problem this year?  With somebody the right age in the family, 4-H dog training is a great idea.
In my area, clubs form soon after the first of the year.  Even many urban
areas have 4-H.  For info look in your phone book under government listings
for extension or cooperative extension offices.  Ask specifically about a dog
or canine club.  The dogs see all the people and dogs in the household as a
pack with each having their own rank in the pack and a top dog.  Life is much
easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones.  You can learn
to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience
class.  A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands a treat. Start at http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/