shy boxer

Question
QUESTION: Arthur has been with me 2 months now. He is one year old and the breeder gave him up as he had terrible seizures and she could not use him for breeding. She also told me he is very shy. He WILL not deal with my husband at all which means only I can let him out to pee and that is my other problem. He pees in his crate and now he's begun peeing on my bed. Yes I let him sleep with me. He has serious hip dysplsia as well. How do I deal with these issues given he can't be walked like a healthy dog?

ANSWER: Ellen,

Hi...I'm sorry to hear that Arthur was discarded by this irresponsible breeder.  Seems to some humans, animals are only here to serve a purpose and are easily let go once that purpose is fulfilled (or not as the case may be).

First thing's first.  I assume you're letting your husband continue to live in the house ;)  Arthur is going to have to get used to him.  Have you done anything thus far to try to bring the two of them together?  How does your husband feel about all of this?

As far as the urinating...I would suggest you have a urinalysis done with him at the vet before you decide that it's behavioral.  He seems a bit sickly as it is, he may have kidney problems, some type of incontinence or a reaction to his seizure medication.

After you've had him checked by the vet, I'd be happy to help you with the behavioral aspects of his frequent urination.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: What would you suggest to bring the two together? The vet said something obscure to me when I had him neutered like "Some boxers have a screw loose and this seems to be one. Tell your husband no eye contact and watch him closely as he clearly dislikes men." I'll have him checked out for urinalysis but I think I need to let him out more frequently and get a new mattress pad. How long can a one year old go?

Answer
Your vet is an idiot.  Sorry to say it so bluntly, especially if you like your vet, but if that was said to me that would have been my last visit.  No 'Boxer' has a screw loose...some dogs are mentally unstable due to poor breeding, abuse, etc. but it is not something the Boxer breed has cornered the market on.

What your husband can do is start to take responsibility for Arthur's feeding and watering.  This is assuming that his schedule permits, of course.  Make sure Arthur sees your husband getting his (Arthur's) bowl ready and putting it down.  Your husband now becomes a source of good things.

No eye contact, no affection, no speaking is a good rule of thumb with a shy dog.  Your vet should have explained this more clearly. It's human nature to want to coddle and comfort a shy, stressed or sick animal.  We want to mother and baby them.  This, however, is not good for a dog.  You will only reinforce the behavior.

For example:  Arthur runs and hides from your husband.  You go to Arthur, explain to him 'it's okaaaaay Daddy's not going to hurrrrrt youuuuu' and cuddle him.  What you've done is not comfort him but reinforced that Daddy is someone to be afraid of...why else would you be whining?  :)

Have your husband sit on the couch/chair and watch television.  You sit next to him (provided there's room) and make sure Arthur cannot leave the room...you may need to utilize babygates or plywood.  The both of you completely ignore Arthur.  Have your husband throw tasty bits Arthur's way (don't hit him!)  Make sure he uses something that only HE will use and only when he's practicing this exercise.  Bits of hotdog, cheese...something nice and smelly.

Do this for a couple nights.  Gradually, over the course of a week or so, have your husband toss the bits closer to himself, making Arthur come to get them.  Eventually, Arthur will approach your husband.  When this happens, he shouldn't touch Arthur or look at him.  Let Arthur smell him, investigate, do what he wants to do.  When Arthur initiates contact, THAT is when it's ok to pet (not the top of the head)...the contact you want to look for is a nudge to the leg or hand.  You'll know it when you see it.

While you're practicing this, your husband should be included on potty breaks, short walks, etc.  I know that Arthur has the HD, but if he can handle even a walk to the corner, that would be great.  You hold his leash on the way and hand it off to your husband on the way back.  If he can't handle going to the corner, go up and down the driveway.

A healthy one year old should be able to hold himself for 4-6 hours with no problem.  Some can go longer but we'll say 6 max.  He should have to go within an hour of eating/drinking/playing and right after waking up.  My concern with him and why I'm suggesting a urinalysis before I give you behavioral advice is that he's urinating in his crate which is not natural for a dog to do.  Urinating on your mattress is another odd bit.  If he's on medication, this could be a side effect, if he's healthy, it's definitely behavioral and quite honestly, you're going to have a hard time fixing the problem.