hand raised cat

Question
I have a multi-cat household and have one particular cat with some behavior problems.  He was a preemie (less than 2 oz at birth).  His mother had him in the back of a car and was scared off by the car owner....my daughter rescued him and when the mother could not be located within a few hours and brought him to me.  He did live and is now 3 years old.  I had to keep him separated from my other cats in the beginning until he was a little older (to get his immune system going and to make sure he was not FIV or Leukemia +) so he got no interaction with other cats until he was about 2 or 3 mos old.  My problem is that he does not purr, and will sometimes bite and attack us.  He is getting a little better recently (approaching us for petting and to sit with us)...he he particularly reacts to me (I think because I was the one who fed him and took care of him in the begining) by pushing his entire head into the palm of my hand when I am petting him, smelling and licking my pal (he actually wants me to partially close my hand around his head) and then ultimately trying to bite me (probably from getting overly stimulated or?).  His eyes turn dark, he cocks his head sideways (like a cat that would be starting an attack) and then grabs my entire hand with his mouth....I can feel him wanting to bite harder and break the skin but restraining himself...but as long as I say no or make any noise, he refrains.  I mistakenly thought I might be able to calm him out of this behavior.  The only time I can quell this behavior is if I spray my hand with pheromones (I have had good luck with using the plug in version of these).  His behavior towards me is odd, seemingly affectionate but aggressive at the same time.  He is more affectionate to my husband and just plan bites everyone else.  We would not give him up for anything (plus, I don't think anyone else would tolerate his strange behavior), but I would like to understand him a bit better and want him to be happy.  Thanks in advance for any insights or ideas.  Melissa

Answer
Hi
well you seem to have a good understanding of cats behavior and how to mamange certain behaviors. As you will probably know the first 7 weeks of their life is important for socialisation skills towards people and other animals. Cats that do not have this interaction during this time do suffer from anti social behaviors. You say he is three years old now, well he is still young enough to learn how to behave from the other cats and from yourself.
All i can really recommned is that you take a look at my pages about bonding and aggressive behavior as it may give you some ideas for your cat. As you realise the secret is to be consistent and persistent with the way you handle him, theis is how they will learn which ehavior are exceptable etc.
However i will say that as he had such a strange start in life he may always be a little different in his ways.

Here are my links to my pages
/new-cat.html
/aggressive-cat-behavior.html

best wishes
Kate