4 1/2 yr old poodle with anxiety to dogs, people and leashes.

Question
Kobe,is my male 4 1/2 yr old, 5 lb poodle has some kind of anxiety problem that I have not read in your questions and answers.  He is the best little guy and healthy but he hypervenilates or shakes when around  other people and most dogs.
I know you will probably say he hasn't been socialized but he has!  He has been around many different people and dogs but he won't have anything to do with them, only me, my husband and son. We take him with us alot. He also doesn't seem to be bothered by his mother dog but he just ignores her or barks at her.  A friend as a big lab and he isnt bothered by her either or our daughters part-pit bull...mostly big dogs.
He can see the same people day in and day out but shakes and acts very timid when they try to hold him.  He WILL take a treat from them as I have tried that.  When we go in around a group like at parties, he pants terrible and wants me to hold him.  Otherwise, he is lovable and smart as a whip, and when the door bell rings, he barks and stands at attention at the person entering, then backs off when they talk to him.  He minds very well, doesn't mind when we leave, just goes to sleep. His only problem outside of that is that he will NOT walk on a leash.  I have tried everything from a leash to even a string, then even a thread...he is absolutely terrified of it.  He used to roll and hide his eyes and cry and hiss but I put it on him for 15 min a day and let it just lay there.  He doesnt cry anymore but will not move till its off.  If I try to drag him a little with it, he gets terrified. So, when we walk him, he ALWAYS stays right between me and hubby and never leaves our side, and never goes into the street.  Could this be related to his anxiety? One other thing, he is terrified of the groomer also so I now do my own grooming.  I bought some pet calmer called "Happy Travler" but have not tried it yet until I hear from you.  It may help you to know that I have had him since 3 wks old and bottle fed him while his 2 sisters died at birth.  We have no other dogs but he did see his mother and father every few weeks after birth.  (She had no milk to feed him).  Any advice is appreciated as we are unable to leave him with anybody to travel alone.  Thank you for this service you provide online.

Answer
Hello Peggy,
Your question has been very tough to answer as its hard to get a dog out of his shell when he has this much anxiety over things.  I do have a few suggestions that you might try though to help bring Kobe out of this a bit.

When friends come over to visit, if they are willing, have them sit down on the floor and get more on Kobe's level and see if he will come and greet them better.  If they just ignore him and let HIM come up to them that will put him in charge of the situation making him feel better.  When he does go ahead and sniff them, then they can give him a treat, but not pet him yet.  
Only when he is comfortable with them in his space can they go ahead and pet him.  
You tried letting him wear a leash around and even string and thread, but I would try a piece of light weight string again and this time keep it on until he decides to move.  You can encourage him by using food or sitting on the floor and encouraging him to come to you, but try not to take it off of him unless its absolutely necessary.  
Be calm in your actions, but assertive also.  Don't baby him too much.  I know he is an anixous dog, but the time for babying him is over.  He is a big boy now.  I am not saying that you go Whole Hog and rush him into being a "Man Dog", but at the same time, if you are too easy with him he will never get out of this stage.  He trusts you so he knows that you aren't going to hurt him.  Use this when you ask something of him.  Use lots of praise and loving though also.  
Also, don't rush him.  He won't come through this in a day or even a week.  YOU act as though that piece of string isn't attached to him.  Ignore it and act as if it were a loose piece on his collar.  Praise him when he moves with it on him though.  Refusing to move with the string on has gotten it taken off in the past, so now you have to override this in his head.  Eventually he will have to go get a drink, go eat and go potty.  He has to realize that the string goes also.  Once he is past moving with the string on, you can move to something heavier, but that is down the road a bit.

As for the Happy Traveler pills, you can use them per their instructions for grooming if he gets really upset, but be careful with them.  Sometimes when a dog gets really anixous, calming pills won't work.  Be sure to give them a couple of hours before you are going to groom him and be sure not to give him more that the recommended dose.  I like to dissolve them in water and give them with a syringe.

Have you considered getting another small dog for Kobe to have as a buddy?  I know he has issues with other dogs, but you might talk to a rescue group or dog shelter to see if they have any small dogs that you could take on a short-term visit to see if it helps Kobe any.  A good-mannered, well socalized dog might leave a good impression on Kobe and show him that its ok to act more normal around other dogs and people.  

Finally, you might consider having a Dog Behavorist come and visit you in your home to see if they might be able to help Kobe one-on-one.  Being able to see him and evaluate him in his own enviroment will give them a better idea of just what is up with Kobe.  

I really hope this helps you some because Kobe sounds like a wonderful dog and you and your family sound like you are really trying with him.
If you have other questions or comments about this or any other questions in general, please feel free to ask.

Thanks for using AllExperts.com,
Kim