more info about my previous question

Question
Hi Yash...

I'd like a bit more information please...  How did this dog act towards you when you were at his previous home? --> He was scared. when we tried to pet him he would hide behind his former owner's leg and he was shaking all over.

Was he acting shy?  Did he let you pet him then? --> He was extremely and painfully shy. and i think the only reason he let us pet him then was because his former owners were with him.  

How did you take him home?  Meaning, was he in a dog carrier? --> he was not in a dog carrier. he was at the back of the car with our other dog. we brought our other dog when we picked him up because we wanted to see how they would react towards each other first. They were ok. Our female Pom is naturally friendly and he was ok with her.

How are you keeping him now?  Are you letting him have the run of the house? --> because we have another dog, they both have a run of the house. our pom is paper trained (since we live in an apartment) but the Chi is house trained.

Are you the only person living in your home or are there other pets and/or people? --> I live with my partner and our pom. Chaos, the male Chi though would follow my partner around but would never come near me. My partner doesn't do anything but still he would follow her. I'm the one who gives him his food and gives him his walks but he doesn't seem to like me as much as my partner.

Has this dog been neutered?  Has it recently had any vaccines? --> the former owners haven't brought him to the vet since they got him but they say since he was the only dog in the house he was healthy. I couldn't bring him to the vet just yet because he wouldn't let me carry him.

Have you contacted the previous owners and discussed what's happening and asked for advice from them?  Are you feeding this dog the same food as what the owners were feeding it? --> kept in touch with his former owners and they would just tell me that he's really that shy. We tried giving him the dogfood that they gave us, but he wouldn't eat it. we tried giving him the same dog food as our pom, and he ate a little of it. we tried giving him cesar a day after we got him, he ate that. but when we gave him another one, he didn't touch it.

-->He seem to be a little more comfortable with us now, but to my partner more than with me. is it because that he somehow associates me with the stress of losing his former owners? i know they are extremely intelligent, but i just want him to love me :(

Answer
Hi again Yash...

Thank you so much for answering each of the questions that I asked you and for answering them in the manner that you did (meaning...stating the question again and then answering it).

While I don't have a magic answer to get this little Chi to like you quickly and completely, I do have advice based on experience that I think that you will find helpful and supportive.  Yash, I'm wondering if you have read any of the past questions and answers on my AllExperts page?  I ask because I have had a number of questions in the past dealing with how Chihuahuas accept one family member and don't accept another. I've also had questions from folks regarding slow adjustments when Chis have been rehomed or obtained through rescue organizations.  I think you may find some of the questions and answers helpful if you have the time to go through them.  Most certainly you will find that you're not alone with your concerns about Chaos.

The response you got from your little Chi when you first saw him at the previous owner's house is VERY typical of this breed.  Chis just do not take to strangers well and can be fearful of strangers which will manifest itself in defensive behavior...like growling, snapping and barking. Chihuahuas are an extremely devoted breed that usually do attach themselves to one person or maybe a couple of people in the family.  That being the case, it's extremely difficult for Chihuahuas to be rehomed.  I truly believe that their world falls apart and they don't know what to do when they are uprooted from their original families (no matter how bad that home may have been). Where many breeds of dogs may happily transfer from one home to another, this is NOT the nature of the Chihuahua breed.

I don't know if your Chi associates the stress of losing his former owners with you.  You were both there when you got him from the former owners, right?  It's hard to say why he seems more comfortable with your partner from my end being that I haven't met all of you and can't see how he interacts with both of you, etc.  Often times a Chi will feel more comfortable with someone in their new family because they are more comfortable with females than males, or the dog simply is reminded of the old owner by someone in the new home.  Also, I got the impression that your partner is not doing much to get the dog to like her, am I right?  I got this impression from when you said that your partner doesn't do anything but "still he would follow her".  He may actually feel safer around her because she's not trying so hard with him.  He may find it confusing and overwhelming to have you wanting to pet him and walk him and feed him.  He may actually feel not only confused, but scared and reacts to you in a defensive manner.  I don't think you said exactly how long you've had this dog.  I can honestly tell you that it really does take a lot of time for a Chihuahua to make a full adjustment to a new home.  Sometimes you can have two huge steps forward and then three steps backwards and time and patience is your only key to success.  I also think that it's important not to do too much with a Chi during an adjustment period.  For instance, I don't think that you should bring a new Chi home, introduce it to all sorts of new people, take it walking, take it socializing at Starbuck's, take it to the dog park, take it to the vet, etc.  I think this is just too much for the dog to "digest" and I think that it's very overwhelming. Take things slowly.  I think you're doing the right thing by being the person who feeds him.  Try "trying" less...  Do things at home where you don't focus on him as much as you have been.  Boil a boneless chicken breast and cut it into small pieces and put a few pieces in a platic bag in your pocket.  As you walk by Chaos on the way to maybe the bathroom, set a tiny piece of chicken down on the floor and say, "Good Boy" in a high pitched, but soft voice.  Every single time that he interacts with you in a positive way, I want you to give him a tiny piece of boiled chicken (placed on the floor a distance from him)  and positively reinforce him with your words.  I usually advise that dogs don't have the run of the house when you first bring them home because dogs feel more secure in a small area that they're first given that they can consider their own.  You expand out from there gradually.  Since you've already given him run of the house, continue the way you have, but don't expose him to more people or take him on long walks.  Just take him out long enough to do his business and come back in so that he will start to see your home as his "safe place" and his "new home".   

I once rescued a little Chi that was in a very bad situation.  She was EXTREMELY devoted to me and VERY protective of me right from the start.  She would growl at people if they tried to pet her and would snap at them if they tried to pet her while I was holding her.  It was quite apparent that she intended to bite them when I was holding her because she was actually trying to protect me.  My husband is a man that ALL animals like almost instantly.  He's laid back, he doesn't force himself on any pets and they just gravitate towards him.  Not so with this little Chi that was so devoted to me.  She wouldn't sit with him, she was uncomfortable with him touching her and pretty much ignored him.  Did it stay this way?  No, it didn't.  It took over two years, but she ended up loving my husband almost as much as she loved me (I was obviously her number one love, but she did love him, too). She wouldn't let either of our mothers touch her...EVER.  I couldn't help but notice, though, that when either of our mothers were ill and bedridden that our little Chi would get on the bed with them and get closer to them than ever before.  I have no doubt that she felt less threatened by them when they were confined to a bed when ill.  I'm not saying here that it's going to take two years for Chaos to accept you or that you have to be bedridden for him to be close to you...I'm saying that adjustment takes time, patience and the right "type" of effort. The more you understand the breed characteristics, the more patient and understanding you will become.

I'm still not clear about if this dog is neutered or not.  I'm thinking from what you did tell me that he doesn't have his vaccines yet.  I'd caution you NOT to have him vaccinated during this adjustment period as vaccines can have all kinds of adverse effects. You will want to keep him out of places where he is exposed to other dogs though. IF he has had vaccines previously, you want to obtain his vaccine records and most certainly DO NOT re-vaccinate him too soon as too many vaccines can cause severe medical and behavioral problems.  You always want to give the rabies vaccine separately from any other vaccines, too. I wouldn't get him neutered right away either (if he isnt' already neutered) because I think it's just like throwing gasoline on a fire to do too much too soon.  Let him adjust and then take things one thing at a time.

My heart truly goes out to you when I read that you just want him to love you!  I wish all new Chihuahua guardians/owners were like you and made such a grand effort to do right by their new dogs. I think he will come around in time, but it will take time and a few changes here and there so that Chaos doesn't feel so overwhelmed.  Baby steps....  Lots of baby steps....  Keep in mind that he's been with you for a very short time and that he needs lots of adjustment time as is consistent with his breed.

Yash, I will be showing as "on vacation" on my AllExperts page for the next week or so as I'm having a minor surgery tomorrow.  This "medical complication" has caused me to be slower than I like in answering my AllExperts questions, but I wanted to get back to you before I set myself to "vacation".  You should consider joining my Chihuahua_Health_Behavior group if you feel that you need support during this period of adjustment with Chaos.  If you choose to join, it's Chihuahua_Health_Behavior@yahoogroups.com  Don't hesitate to contact me if you have further questions and I'll be thinking of you and Chaos!

Jo Ann