Two unlikely friends

Question
Hello Mr. Auspitz:

My husband and I were married in September of 2004 (four months ago) and both brought a cat each into the marriage.  He has a female, Lyla, and I have an extremely loving but also extremely aggressive male, King.  King was pulled out of a dumpster and left in my care 7 years ago.  It took me a good year to get him to allow me to pet him, and especially approach him with my hand on his face.  Now he is incredibly friendly and though still cautious with strangers, will let most everyone pet him.  He has always gone outside because of his aggressive nature and probably the fact that he spent a better part of his kittenhood in the outdoors.  However, even with him having free reign outside, he still sometimes lets out his aggression by attacking poor little Lyla who is now limited to staying on top of her tall, multi-level scratching post.  When she leaves it, she does so cautiously and if she hears King approaching she scurries back to get on top of the cat post again.  If King sees her off of the post, he will rush for her and they will proceed to "cat and mouse" each other (with King being the cat) until she is able to get back to her post.  We have begun to spray King with the water bottle aggressively when he does this and he has not attacked her since, at least in our presence.  When we leave town, we separate them and give King a room and let Lyla roam the house, which she can not otherwise do now.  Lyla is an extremely shy cat to begin with, but we wish that she could come off of her perch even when King is in the house without fear.  She has begun to cuddle with us more, but only when she knows with certainty that King is outside and not coming back in anytime soon.  Do you think that a friendship is a possibility?  Is there anything else we might do to make our cats more friendly with each other?  We see other cats who will greet each other and even clean each other and we wish that for Lyla and King, though realize that it is probably impossible.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Most sincerely,
Amy and Zane &
King and Lyla

Answer
Amy & Zane,

I am assuming they are both neutered/spayed!

I have two rules about how cats inter-relate to each other.  (1)  No human interference and (2) We mere humans do not understand the ways cats interact with each other.

So, as aggressive as King King may be, if Lyla were really not getting along with him, she would not let him near her at all.  As in people where some cats may like to be aggressors, some cats seem to like to be "victims".

So, I would not keep them separated at all, or they will never form a "friendship"!  Although, they may have formed a "friendship", but we do not understand the relationship!

Games of chase (even if they end up with a mock fight), usually mean the cats are getting along.

Also, you do not know how they get along when you are not home.

I would try not to separate them when you are gone and I would not spray King with the water bottle.  I would just grit my teeth and allow them to come to whatever understanding they will.  Truly, four months is not that long a time for older cats who have come together to try to figure out how to relate to each other.

Good luck and seasonal regards... Norm.