Cat unfriendly

Question
I have a cat, fixed and declawed,  stays in house...  1yr.  Have had him since he was a kitty.  NOT abused at all..  He does not like to be petted, or held, (ocassionally will sit on MY lap for a little while)   ..  He does like to run and play. and fight...  He  shys away from everyone, (including my wife).  except me..

Any helpful ideas to make him more affectionate?

other than that no problemo


Answer
Hi Bob,

Some cats are born with personalities that are just not very affectionate.  There's really no way to make him more affectionate, because as you know, cats do things if and when they want to!  : )  Because he's only 1, he may 'mellow' as he grows older, but for now, you COULD try to play with him with some interactive toys like the 'feather dancer'.  This is a 'fishing pole' type toy which has a long plastic pole to which is attached an elastic string and from the string dangles a cat-attractive toy.  This toy can have mylar strips, feathers, etc., and when it's moved up and down by the elastic, it 'dances' and cats go gaga over it trying to catch it!  The thing is, once they catch it, they want to bite/chew it, and you can't allow this, as it could be dangerous, so you have to pull it up again, after they've 'conquered' their moving 'prey' and start the game again.  This is called an 'interactive' toy because you can never let a cat play with it without an adult holding the toy.  When not in use, always store it away behind closed doors where you're sure he can't get to it.  Never leave it on the floor (like other cat toys) for him to play with by himself.

Because it's interactive, you're actively involved in his play sessions and the minute he sees the toy, he'll know this is going to be a good time!  

I happen to have a very affectionate cat (even though he's not a 'lap cat') and what I like to do with him is get down on his level and 'play pussycat'.  We head-butt, I rub my head and/or the side of my face on the side of his--you know, they have scent glands on the side of the face (cheek/whisker area) and when they rub on things, they're actually 'marking' it and leaving their scent.  So, if you (or other family members) get down on the floor with him and just sit quietly, he may approach to sniff, wait for a 'pet', etc.  The thing is, to not force him and always let him approach on his own terms.  It's possible that being affectionate for cats, is related to a trust issue, so just keep doing things in the same way you have been and be 'cool' about the whole thing and if it's in his makeup, he should come around.  I must tell you that I have some  friends whose cats just don't want to be bothered and that's how they've remained all their lives.  So, you can never tell.  If it's meant for him to show more affection, one day he might surprise you!

Good luck!

Cher   : )