cat-cat introductions

Question
QUESTION: Hi Mr. Auspitz,
I have 2 seven year old cats--one female and one male who get along fairly well.  The male is very playful and curious whereas the female would prob. be great as an "only" cat in a household.  She is very shy, but very sweet and snuggly.  We just adopted a 2 year old calico female 3 months ago who is extremely friendly and very playful and confident.  For the first 2 weeks or so, I kept her in a bedroom with the door open a bit (first week door was completely shut), so the other two could see her.  I then let her roam during the day and put her in her room at night.  My male got used to her after about 2 weeks, and the two of them get along very well.  My female seemed so terrified of her that I had to separate them again.  Now, the 2 females are separated all the time.  We tried to introduce them by each of us sitting on a chair in the hallway with a cat on each lap and gradually moved the chairs closer and closer tog. each day.  We got to the point where they were a foot or two away and the older cat seemed O.K. with that.  However, any closer, and she'd start growling and hissing again.  She usually sleeps in my closet all day, so lately, I have been taking the new cat and sitting with her in front of the closet--just a couple of feet away.  The older cat cont. to hiss and growl.  On the 1 or 2 times that the new cat has gotten away, she chases the older cat, and there is a huge amount of snarling and hissing until I catch one of them.  My male was completely spooked last night after this happened, and they were only tog. for about a minute before I caught her!  As I said, the younger cat is very friendly, but I think now she only senses hostility from my other cat, and the older cat seems petrified of her.  I have tried feeding the older cat outside of the other's door, but she will not eat there; however, I just started this.  I'm willing to keep them separated for another 3 months, but I feel like at some point, the older one is just going to have to acclimate somehow.  However, I don't want her hiding all day or peeing on furniture or anything.  Do you have any advice?  I really don't know where to go with this, but I'm afraid of what might happen if I just let them go about it on their own!  Thank you so much!

ANSWER: Linda,

The advice I usually give is a minority view but seems to work more often than not.  Cats have a complicated "getting to know you" ritual they go through. Depending on whether the established male or the established female is dominant may depend on how quickly or not they accept the new cat.

My feeling is that the best thing to do is to stop any separation of these cats and let them find their own way. It is rare for one cat to really hurt another cat during these rituals. Often it sounds like world War III as they hiss and spit and growl and posture, but unless blood is drawn, I would not worry. Cats have very, very tough skin and we cannot usually discern play fighting from the real thing unless someone truly does get bitten.

So, see how it goes, and after a while (a number of weeks or even months, things may settle down.  There is no way they can learn to inter-relate to each other if they are constantly separated. I have found that any human intervention prolongs the rituals.

Another thing you may try, if it is not too late, is that any time you interact with the new cat, give the established cats extra treats and affection, although you should not attribute human motive and emotions to cats, they do get jealous.

Please let me know what happens and how things go.

Best regards... Norm.





---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Norm,
This is a follow-up to your response from a couple of weeks ago.  I have begun to let the 2 cats out together when I am home to supervise, though I still keep new cat in her room at night.  I also try to do some "meet and greet" sessions every so often with some fresh turkey.  What typically happens is new cat will come over to eat the turkey while older cat sits on my lap and either hides her head or after 5 min. or so will begin to eat some turkey.  She'll let new cat get pretty close before hissing or growling.  As soon as she leaves my lap though, new cat will immed. chase after her, and older cat always runs behind a couch or somewhere where she will continuously hiss and growl and snarl at new cat.  New cat will hiss and snarl back sometimes, but event. loses interest and walks away until the next time.  Fortunately, I haven't had to break up any fights w/ the squirt bottle, but I'm not sure older cat will ever be O.K. with this.  She def. has anxiety over this whole thing, so I've also been using Bach Rescue Remedy with her.  It's really a shame b/c my other older cat and new cat get along so well.  Do you think there's anything else I should be doing to facilitate this more smoothly?  Thanks for your help!  L

Answer
Linda,

I would not restrict the new cat to a room over night.  Neither of these cats is going to hurt each other.  Just by keeping them separated a little bit, they are not really carrying out their "getting to know you" rituals.  Once you let them meet and greet, you really need to leave them be and not intervene in any way.  They will figure out how they want to interact with each other in their own time.

I think the turkey "bribes" is an excellent idea!!!!!!

In addition, whenever I pay attention to the new cat, make sure you lavish extra treats and attention to the established cat as well.

I expect they will not fight, just make some noise. I believer the anxiety will only disappear (in time) when they both have free reign of the house.

Please let me know how they are doing after a few weeks of "no separation".

Best regard.. Norm.