Weird male cat behaviour

Question
Hello,
I've recently been experiencing weird behavior by my 6 months old Persian male cat. I'm living with my boyfriend in apartment.
When I bought our cat, he was 3 months old, used to using litter box. He spend first two weeks only with me, because my BF was out of town. When he came home, he immediately fell in love with him, and they were in good relations until a month ago.
I'm alone with cat most of the day, I stroke him, and hug him, he watches me as I cook, and do the tiding around the house, he's very smart and perceptive, also very curious, but not timid.
When my BF comes home from work, I put all of my attention to him, and I guess that makes our cat a bit jealous, because month ago we found his poop on the carpet.
My BF got very angry and put the cats nose in it, so he knows that what he did was wrong. Than he put him in his room for the rest of the day.
Things just kept going worse from then on.
He peed on our carpet, I cleaned it thoroughly every time.
Not to be mistaken, he normally did those things in his litter box as well, and I cleaned it out every day.
Then one day as we went shopping, and came back we saw his poop on the couch, he got same treatment again.
Then, just two days after, when we got home his poop was on the same place on the couch in the living room, and he peed all over my BF's travel bag that was in our room.
My BF is very upset, he started to dislike cats and wants me to sell him :(
I took the cat to be castrated, because I suspected the problem was emanating from his hormones that kicked in, but nothing changed. I don't know what to do anymore, please help!

Answer
You have given me some more information now. I am sorry you expected that every expert can solve every problem. We are not able to do that. We can make suggestions that may help, and can often refer you to specific people who can help you. I tried to find specialists in Croatia and was unable to, maybe because of the search language.

I knew he was neutered, and just pointed out that the effect is not immediate. It may take several weeks to take effect, even if the problem was hormone related, which I do not think it is.

I am thrilled that you are using Reiki. I wonder, though how often you are offering it. My suggestion would be to give Reiki for a few minutes before you leave the house (as well as restrict the area he can be in).

Often my clients over the last 30 years (and I am NOT a cat behavior specialist - maybe you can find one of them on the all experts) have thought the cats were angry at them, or doing it on purpose. Then we have done some tests, or the treatments that worked showed there was a low grade of inflammation happening. Or we discovered it was a reaction to recent vaccines. There are many things in addition to doing it on purpose. That was why I suggested an animal communicator. Most soiling outside the box has multiple causes.

While there are many tests that could be done to see if there was a medical reason behind this, I would say that was less likely. Again, that was why I suggested a behavior specialist who also is familiar with flower essences.

From my veterinary education on soiling issues I recommend:
1. Limiting access to the house (many recommend putting cats in the bathroom, but I think that is to stringent for your cat because he does use the box most of the time) will save your furniture. In that limited area, give him soft things to sleep on with a view if possible for interest and cover the rest with plastic. (This is training him.) Then you can expand his range, adding an extra litter box - one in the original room and one in the newer area.
2. Evaluating the cause can take a lot of detective work on your part. You think it is because he is jealous, so that would be a place to start. Since you are Reiki trained, you may have access to flower essences.  Holly helps if anger is the cause; Willow is for maliciousness (which may fit him the best); Chestnut bud for repeating behaviors and not learning. You can do one at a time, or mix them. Put 4 drops of each in 1 ounce dropper bottle and give a few drops several times a day. Put a drop in the water bowl. Have you and your BF rub a few drops on your hands before petting him.
3. Find some toys he likes, maybe some cat kongs to pry food out of and spend 5 minutes after your BF comes home with both of you playing with your cat.
4. the other suggestions I made still may be needed as well. This is not easy to heal.

My abilities to help you are a little limited. I am a holistic veterinarian and a search showed none in Croatia. Because my searches did not find sources for a lot of what I may suggest to you, there may be better avenues to explore.

First, rubbing a cat's nose in a mistake NEVER helps. Even if they have just gone, they just do not make the connection (rarely does it help dogs, either). This is probably a behavior problem.

6 months of age is a good time to have him neutered. If this is a "male" thing (and I do not think so), it may take a few weeks after the neuter to see the results.

Not using the box 100% is one of the biggest challenges faced by cat guardians, so if your boyfriend is not willing to commit to loving this cat in spite of "accidents", the cat may be better off in a different home.

The following suggestions may help, with enough time and dedication. Until you have worked it out, you need to restrict his access, and cover things with plastic.

The one thing that could possibly help immediately is to work with an animal intuitive (www.AnimalTalk.net for ones in the US - some may be willing to work abroad). if the communicator can discover why your cat is doing this, and you can do what she suggests as a result, you may be done.

Otherwise, you can try the totally safe approaches:
1. Flower Essences - skype with Jackson Galaxy of Spirit Essences; find sources for Bach essences and read the pet book - "Bach Flower Remedies for Animals" to select ones to try.
2. T-Touch - find practitioners in Croatia or nearby; or get books and videos (www.ttouch.com)
3. Reiki (learn yourself or work long distance)

From the book, Healthy Animal's Journal - "Reiki: Personally, I think every person who lives with or works with animals must know at least Level I Reiki. The practitioner places her hands upon the animal (or it can be done from a distance, even around the world) with the intent for healing to occur. The energy flows through the healer into the animal. This is based on directly applying Chi (energy) to rebalance the energy field so it no longer needs to produce the physical symptoms. It is a very good adjunct to any healing modality, especially to relieve pain and inflammation. I have seen cats who begin to eat again when their food has Reiki done on the food. It also "takes the bad out of" things. By doing Reiki on smelly water in restaurants I have been able to drink sweet tasting and smelling water. Use Reiki anytime that you must give injections, vaccines, drugs, flea or heartworm drugs, or other substances with potential toxicity. Do you work in a grooming salon, or kennel, or veterinary clinic, or barn or anywhere animals are being seen? Use your Reiki on any treatments to be given and to calm the animals. People have reported getting animals to eat by doing Reiki on their food.  http://www.reiki.org  . http://www.ReikiTails.com  is a great practitioner in Maryland who knows a lot about cats. Get a free treatment at www.interdimensionalhealing.com. Great information on Reiki - http://www.reikicourse.org. Kathleen Prasad is a wonderful teacher and works with my favorite sanctuary and holistic education center, BrightHaven www.brighthaven.org. She just had an article on Reiki in Feline Wellness. Kathleen leads a free monthly telechat for anyone trained in Reiki and using it with animals. http://www.animalreikisource.com/. If you cannot find a Reiki Class near you (same class for people and animals as it connects you through an "attunement" to the healing energy of the universe, making you a channel of healing), three groups offer long distance, free, attunements.
1. http://theholisticcare.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=13,
2. http://freereikiattunement.com/
3. www.ReikiBlessings.com offers free Reiki attunements, classes and training on-line    and animal classes, too
Long distance healing and training is at www.animalhealers.homestead.com/  
A client of mine is using Christine, Her name is Christine at cbearse@earthlink.net, www.awakeningrainbows.com. To receive free distance Reiki send her your first name only, city and state, and whether or not you have had any Reiki training.  She invites you to include your pets as well.  She uses a teddy bear and does a full body Reiki distance treatment for one hour each Sunday evening from 9 p.m. until 10 p.m. EST.

Another wonderful healer, Deena Spears works long distance with Sound Tuning. www.Singingwoods.com. I have seen many animals and the people in a home be healed by her work.

4. Some homeopathic veterinarians will work by phone, and some homeopathic human practitioners will help animals (I did find many under google of homeopathy Croatia). . Homeopathic veterinarians (these can often help you by phone if no other holistic practitioners are nearby that you like): www.theAVH.org and www.DrPitcairn.com. Ones from the UK may also work by email or phone - www.bahvs.com.  Good chinese medicine can be great as well, if there is someone local - QiAcademy  www.qiacademy.eu