A Recent Death.

Question
I've been a ferret owner for the last 3 1/2 years. I have a beautiful black eyed white female and a handsome blaze. Last week I found out that my male who was only one year old had a large tumor. Well the vet that I worked for and have complete trust told me that it was a large one and need surgery now. So we went through with the surgery. He didn't make it. The tumor was just too large and blocked his intestines,liver and spleen. Now to my question. My female, they were very close and I know I need to let her (AND I) morn, but what can I do to help her in that situation. Also I plan on getting another one (eventually, since I'm in college and not at home during the day to give her full attention.) I don't want her to be lonely, but I really don't want to introduce a new kit too soon. So any info on how to handle this situation would be welcomed.

Answer
Hi Tara:

I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet little one.  They leave such a huge hole in our hearts when they leave us.

I'm sure you are right that your little girl is missing him greatly.  If you have/had the opportunity, some people suggest letting the remaining ferret/s see the deceased ferret and that they do understand, will often groom them, etc and that is supposed to help them know the other ferret isn't coming back.  I can't speak from my own experience there, as I've never been strong enough to do that. I thought if I paid extra attention to mine, that would help, but it did not and they died within days after the first one. For this reason, I would recommend taking your remaining ferret to a ferret shelter = where there are older ferrets, instead of a rambunctious kit - and let your little girl choose another companion AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  In the meantime, try to take her with you anywhere you go that you can take her, talk to her a lot, help her know she is not alone - but get to the shelter SOON.  If you don't know a shelter in your area, write back with your city, state and zip code and I will try to locate one for you.  You can't get her another mate too soon - you can, however, wait too long.  I learned that one the hard way.

For yourself, whatever you feel is a fitting ceremony, burial, cremation, and some type of memorial - anything from planting flowers in a special place with a rock with his name on it; keeping his cremains in a special place in your room - whatever YOU feel meets your needs. There is an awesome online memorial place where you can write a tribute to him and they have a Monday Night Candle Lighting Ceremony to celebrate the lives of all the pets who have died that previous week (it's okay if you're late since you didn't know about it before - go ahead and write his tribute and have his name put on the list for the candle lighting ceremony).  You can access that website at:  http://www.petloss.com  My boys are memorialized there and I must say that is what comforted me the most in my time of grief. There is a chat room, where you can talk with others in your same situation, understanding, helpful and always with love.

Please don't hesitate and try to get her a companion close to her age?  I think she will love you for that - and especially if you take her along with you and let HER pick out her friend....who knows?  Maybe it will be another little old lady like herself :-)

Best of luck and please don't delay.....

sincerely,

Jacquie Rodgers