puppy growling/biting at 5 year old

Question
Hi Sandy,  We have had our 4 month old mini goldendoodle for 2 months.  She seems to have adjusted well to our large active family-(6 kids 18 to 5).  The 49 day temperament test showed that she was playful and people oriented, but had a "mind of her own".  That seems to be exactly how she is.  She loves us, but sometimes seems a little fiesty with our 5 year old.  He intentionally squeezed her paws a few times (made her yelp) and accidentally stepped on her tail, and showed some jealousy signs.  (I'm not sure who needs the training the son or the puppy!)  Anyway,  the puppy now sporadically growls or barks at my son when he tries to pet her. She growled and bit him (small mark on his hand) when she had a pig ear and he tried to pet her.  I can do anything to her while she has a pig ear without a response.  Do you have any suggestions?  We chose this breed because they are supposed to be so fun and laid back!  Thanks for your thoughts-  Suzy

Answer
You probably aren't going to like this, but it sounds to me like the problem is more the child's behavior than the puppy's. Small children and puppies should be carefully supervised at all times, and if you can't be watching, they shouldn't be togther. 5 is old enough to be taught how to carefully handle a puppy, and how to leave a puppy alone when she's busy with a high value treat. And, for the pup, I'd have the adults in the family work on teaching her that handling, and gradually even "rough" handling (slightly pulling ears and tail, playing with paws, etc.) is wonderful attention and accompanied by great treats. The adults should also work with the puppy on the idea that giving stuff up to people means she gets even better stuff in return (and your son should never be allowed to try to take valued resources away from her or interact her when she's busy with a great chew). This positive training for things she now finds unpleasant or scary are to give you time to difuse the situation if your son does something inappropriate, not to teach her to tolerate it.
It's hard to know exactly what is going on over the internet, but what it sounds like is she is behaving in the way a dog behaves towards another dog who doesn't pick up on their more subtle signals. The fact that she's only growling and snapping, mostly, is good. It means her intent is to tell him to back off, not to hurt him. However, as he doesn't "get" the very subtle communication that another dog would notice, (and a dog assumes the human will get too) she has to communicate more loudly - a growl, a snap, and if he still doesn't acknowledge that she is telling him she is uncomfortable in a situation - a bite. So, while she hasn't really injured him yet, (a small mark means she was being VERY careful with her mouth) if he continues to ignore her communication (and it's not really something you can expect a human child to "get") it's only a matter of time until she will feel like she has no choice but to make her point more strongly with her teeth.
While this is not a good self-help situation, in addition to finding help, you might want to read "The Other End of the Leash" by Patricia McConnell (probably available through the library system) which explains very well the communication gaps and misunderstandings between humans and dogs.
You do have a potential for danger to your child, and having to euthanize a dog who is only, in her mind, trying to protect herself. I honestly think you could really, really use some good in-person help here (as any advice given over the internet is likely to miss a lot of what is going on) I'd interview trainers/behaviorist and go with someone whose reaction is not to punish the dog for her behavior. Growls are communication. They warn you that she is uncomfortable with a situation and give you (the supervising parent) a chance to give her a way out of the situation without having to defend herself and her stuff. When you punish the dog for growling, you end up with the kind of dog who bites without warning - because the warning has been taken away by the punishment, but not the discomfort and anxiety the dog feels in the situation, except to make it worse.
If you can't hire a good professional, and for some reason it's not possible to teach your son to be more respectful towards the puppy, I'd return her to the breeder so she can be rehomed with an "older" family, while that's still possible.  Sandy Case BFA MEd CPDT www.positivelycanine.net