Making a rescue feel like part of the family

Question
We adopted a rescue female, 1 1/2 yr old, Golden Retriever-Chow mix 6 weeks ago.  She spent months in the vet hospital after being found and was treated for heartworms & only weighed 16 lbs. when found (she's 42 lbs. now, her normal weight).  She went from there to her foster mom (home of 9 other dogs).  She found a home with no other pets and a single female owner and was returned after 1 1/2 months.  Her original foster mom couldn't take her back right away so she was with another foster family before her original foster mom took her back.  Needless to say she has been passed around.  She was loved by her original foster mom, but has never truly had anything of her own including a regular home.

We have a 10 yr old male Golden Retriever and 2 adults in our home.  Everytime my husband or myself come into a room that our new pup is in, she leaves the room.  She will not come into the family room and sit with us in the evenings, she goes off to the bedroom, etc.  She will stay around us if we have food out, but as soon as the food is gone so is she.  She and our other dog get along fine, they became fast friends.  Both are very submissive dogs.  We made sure to get her her own bed, toys, etc.

How can we make her feel like "part of the pack" and make her want to be comfortable staying around and being with us?  We get the feeling she feels like she doesn't completely belong here.  She is very trusting, sweet, and smart.

Answer
Hi Robbin,

Thank you for writing to me about your new family member.  She's certainly been through the wringer and how lucky that she found such a loving home!

I would suggest that you and your husband spend quality, bonding time with your new pup.  Take walks with her, play with her, hand feed her if necessary, do basic training and you can even tether her to you so that where you go, she goes,  This is a strong bonding technique.

Make sure that she isn't bonding more closely to your other dog rather than to humans. After all, her very early experiences with humans were not necessarily the best.

I have also found that sitting quality with a dog and holding them while their head is against your chest listening to your heartbeat, can go a very long way in the bonding process.  The first heartbeat that your pooch ever heard was it's natural mother.  Your heartbeat can produce similiar bonding effects.  Give it a try.  Proceed slowly and lovingly.

Best of luck,
Shelley Davis