Going Out/Wifes more the Pack Leader

Question
QUESTION: Dear Ms. Vassonei, first,thank you for taking time to read this. 2 quick areas to discuss:
1) With the exception of a 40 minute walk at the end of the day near the beach, my dog's other walks consist of only 3/4 minutes to eliminate. I don't know why she's not crazy about walking. She used to walk longer more often. Now, with the exception of the beach walk, after putting on her leash, I have to almost drag her out. Having said that, here's 2) - which might help. She'll go out much quicker if my wife puts on the leash and asks her to go out. Further, she's more mopey when my wife is not around. As soon as my wife comes back home, my dog is upbeat, playful, etc. Rarely for me however.
What do you make of all of this ? FYI, she's 19 mo. old female Lhasa Apso, rescue, can be dominant,etc. Thank you Ms. Vassonei, and do look forward to hearing back when time allow.
Stephen

ANSWER: Hi, Stephen,

My suggestion would be that you become the dog's provider of all good things - you should feed her, play with her, give her treats, do anything that you know the dog enjoys; any corrections, discipline should be your wife's role.

I'm including some documents for you to help in this regard.  Anything you can do, such as going to obedience classes - just you and the dog - that can help with the bonding should be your goal.

http://www.marinhumanesociety.org/Behavior/Handouts/PEP.pdf
http://www.ddfl.org/behavior/educated-dog.pdf
http://www.ddfl.org/behavior/nilif.pdf
http://www.ddfl.org/behavior/dominance.pdf


Once the dog begins to understand that you have the same stature as your wife, she should begin to be more cooperative.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Chris, thx much for the advice. Funny thing is, I've been doing all these things for her, pretty much from day 1. We've had her 15 weeks now. I'll keep trying, but it's so obvious that my wife is my dog's hero at the moment. Few quick questions: 1) Can you think of why she usually objects to walking, particularly when my wife is out, and I'm the one having to take her out ? 2) my concerns with this walking scenario are: she's not allowing herself to socialize with other dogs - and she might not be getting enough exercise. I've had Lhasa's before - and while they are not in great need of exercise, I still believe it's good for every dog. Again, her big walk nowadays is the beach walk at the tail end of the day. Having said that, if it's me only taking her on that beach walk - she won't walk for more than a few minutes. If my wife is with me, she'll do the whole 35/40 minutes. Catch my drift now. Thanks again Chris, look forward to hearing back - and I did nominate you for Volunteer of the month. Hope you might offer suggestions for me. Stephen

Answer
You mentioned she is a rescue, she's 19 months, and you've had her 3 1/2 months.   Is it possible that she may have had some negative experiences with men before coming to your home?  That would explain why she has bonded more quickly with your wife.  If there is any possibility of that, you will need to be patient and give the dog time to trust you as well.

Is she food motivated at all?  Perhaps on your walk, you could take some string cheese or pieces of hot dog to coax her along?  Find something really special that she only gets when you and she take your walk.  I would start out with short walks and LOTS of treats, with LOTS of praise for even a short walk, gradually working up to longer walks and less treats.  

As far as her getting enough exercise, you state yourself that Lhasa's don't need a lot, so for the time being, look at your walks as a "training" time more than for exercise.  Your main goal is to get her to enjoy spending time with you, not necessarily how long or far she will walk.