Part-standard Poodle behavior concern

Question
Hi!  I have a 2 year old goldendoodle named Molly.  I've had her since she was 8 weeks old, and have done most of her training.  About a year ago, I then met my now husband, who has also worked with her a some too.  She's a wonderful dog- she is incredibly smart, very loving and gentle, very proud, very active- though at times around the house, she is very calm and sometimes lazy. We take her a lot to the mountains for hiking/swimming, and if we are in the city, we take her a lot to the dog park, or for a walk or a run.  

She has been fairly socialized with other dogs since she was a puppy- as I have frequently taken her to dog parks since she had all her puppy shots; and we have friends/family that have dogs that she has played with during our people social time.  And she does well/plays well with other dogs.  She has only had one negative experience with another dog when she was about 3-4 months old- she was attacked by an aggressive dog, but I was nearby at the time, and no injuries occured except for a hurt lip.  

Like I said before, she is very smart.  Most of the time it takes her a day or two with consistent work for her to learn something new.  

And like I said before, she is a very sensitive, gentle, sweet, loving dog.  Along the lines of gentle, she is also very timid- which is my biggest concern.  For example, we gate her off from some areas of the house, but she is incredibly afraid of the gate when we pick it up and move it around.  When going for a walk, if there are large objects in people's yard, i.e. a large tree stump, or for halloween- yard decorations/scarecrows, she gets really afraid and jittery.  

When she gets scared, I comfort her- which I now realize may be a negative reinforcement.. allowing to feel it's ok to be timid.  

I've read a lot about poodle's, and I feel that some of her characteristics fit the poodle part in her, which is why I'm trying a poodle expert.  She has no other significant behavior problems such as separation anxiety, chewing, destructive behavior, biting, jumping, etc.  

My next and most biggest concern in the light of that behavior/temperament is small children.  When she was 4-5 months old, I exposed her to my cousin's kids (then 3 yrs old & 5 yrs old), and she barked/nipped at them as in an aggressive/attacking way, but I dont think she bit them.  She still continues in this behavior- at our house, at other peoples houses, and even on a hiking trail.  I am also concerned because my husband and I want to have kids some day, and I don't want to loose her.  

I've thought about exposing her to kids by being nearby such as a playground.  I've also thought about finding parents of kids who are comfortable with dogs, and having them work with her by giving her treats.  My cousins have since moved, and I don't have anyone that fits that category that can consistently work with her.

What should I do??  I love my dog very very very much and want to do her right.

Thanks for your help!!!

Answer
Hello Miranda,
First off, GoldenDoodles are great dogs, very intelligent and with a very loving personality.  Congratulations on miss Molly.
Sounds like you are doing mostly right by her and she sounds like a typical Golden/Poodle for the most part.  
**but she is incredibly afraid of the gate when we pick it up and move it around**
Alot of dogs tend to have issues with things they see from home because it means something to them.  With the gate, it means that she is going to be put in her "area", it also may mean to her that you are leaving, ie you put her behind the gate before you go somewhere, and gates can make alot of noise when dropped or moved.  All these things are associated with the gate, so when she sees the gate it brings up these feelings and she gets afraid.  You can help her overcome this fear of the gate by using it not only as a barrier, but as an obstacle or as part of a training routine.  Start with the gate somewhere in the house such as at the beginning to a hallway.  When you get up to the gate, have her walk through it (with praise and treats) until she is more comfortable with it.  You can have your husband stand in the middle of the room holding the gate while you walk her around the outside of the gate.  You praise her and also have your husband praise her and give her a treat.  You can move up to laying the gate on the ground and "hiding" a piece of treat under the edge of the gate and see if she will try to get it.  Praise her when she acknowledges the gate and encourage her to touch or sniff at the gate to get the treat.  You can move from there to putting her toy under the gate and see if she will try to get the toy out.  You want to make the gate part of small games so that she comes to see the gate in a more friendly light than as a "Scary ole Gate".  Use lots of praise and her favorite tidbit, but ignore scared or fearful reactions.  When she is in another room with you, have your husband tap the gate on the floor #so it makes a sound# and praise her if she shows interest or isn't afraid.  You can move her closer if she seems ok with it.  You are trying to desensitize her from being afraid of the gate.  However, if you notice that she is not getting over her fear of the gate, go back to some of the earlier exercises until she is more comfortable with the gate.  
You can put these exercises to use with the neighbors "Scary Yard Decorations" as well as the Trash Cans/Bags, Stumps or "Doodle Eating" Lawn Mowers.  When you are walking and come across any of these Fear Inducing items, Encourage Molly to come close and investigate.  Again, you will want to ignore any scared or fearful behavior and try to be very calm #even though you are not scared yourself# and reassuring, because Molly will be watching and feeling your feelings.  Let her walk as close as she will toward the item, then encourage her to get closer.  Use a happy voice and treats especially if she will move forward on her own or better yet, will come up and sniff the object.  After an "inspection" of the offending item, you can walk her away from it and approach it again.  Praise her if she will come closer this time.  Get her to where you can jog past the item (a moving Doodle is paying more attention to moving than to a "Boogie Monster") and if she is doing well, see if you can jog or walk AROUND the object.  Remember to use happy voice to encourage, and praise when she overcomes her fears.  
Also, don't expose her to everything scary on her block all at one time.  If you know of several items that are at the top of her fear list, try just one the first day.  After that one is overcome, you can move on down the list.  You don't want to overwhelm her with all her fears, even if she is doing well to get over the first one.  

As for her fear of smaller children, Take her to places where she will be exposed to larger children (like a Middle school or even a Highschool) first so she can see people that aren't full adults (which she is fine with).  Take some of her favorite food along in your pocket and see if the kids will give her a treat and pet her.  You will want her to sit for this, and you can stand behind her to keep her calm.  Have the kids put their hand out so she can sniff them first, then give them the treat to give to her.  After she has eaten her snack, let them pet her if she is feeling comfortable.  When she sees that these kids just want to feed her and pet her, you can move to smaller kids.  If you know of parents that don't mind Molly meeting their children, you can set up a time for Molly to meet the children away from her home #so she doesn't have to feel like she is protecting her house# and have the children get down either on their knees or sit on the floor and let Molly come up to them.  Give them a treat to offer to her, and when she comes up to them, after she takes and eats the treat, have them put their hand out to let her smell and then they can pet her.  Lots of praise and encouragement from you if she is good and allows the children to feed and pet her.  The more exposure (and treats and pets) she gets from children, the better adjusted she will be around smaller kids.  Once she is better with young children, they can be introduced to her in the home and can even play fetching games or walk her on the leash.
Take it slow though and don't rush her.  As long as she is getting positive encouragement from you, she should progress smoothly.  

If she does well with the larger children, but still acts aggressively with smaller children, you may have to dominate her when she snaps or shows aggression toward them.  You can do this by laying her down on the ground or floor with her head down and holding her there until she will relax and submit to you.  Look her in the face and make her look away from you.  You don't have to BE mean about it, but let her know you DO Mean it.  This may sound harsh, but you are speaking to her in a language that she understands.  Dominate mother dogs will do this to a subordinate puppy, and Dominate Male dogs will do this to make a less Dominate male understand that he ISN'T Dominate and that the Dominate male is.  There is usually no aggression, just control and getting the dog to understand submittance.  Even though you and your dog have never had a conflict where she has needed to assert her dominance over you (she may have never even thought about it), you need to let her know that this behavior is UNACCEPTABLE to you and that she needs to stop it.  She will Respect you as her owner, and this behavior should stop.

I hope this helps you some.  Your dog sounds like a very level-headed, intelligent girl and I think she can get over these behaviors in a timely fashion.  If you have any other questions/concerns about this, please feel free to ask me.  

Thanks for using AllExperts.com,
Kim

I would also like to introduce you to a Wonderful product that you might want to think about putting your dog on.  It is a Preventive Tablet that helps keep your dog healthy and can reverse the onset of illnesses in dogs and cats.  Please check out the Website or contact me for further information if you are interested.
MsTopkdog@yahoo.com
http://www.nuvet.com/53330
800-474-7044
ID Code: 53330