Cat is extra-needy

Question
Hi Tina.

I have a grey tiger cat, 5 years old.  I got her from the Humane Society when she was a kitten, and so she grew up with me.  She grew up without any other animals, always was kept inside, and became very attached to me, even though she is sometimes kind of wild.

6 months ago I got married and moved to a new location.  My wife and I have set boudaries, where she can't come into the bedroom (although I let her sleep on the bed in my old house).
It has sometimes been hard for her to adapt to this new situation, where she would come to the door and cry and rub her paws on the door wanting to get in at night.  But that is only if she knows I am in there.  She is more indifferent to my wife.

The last month, she has started a new behavior.  About 7am every morning (sometimes earlier), she starts crying for attention, and it isn't always because of an early feeding - she just wants to see me.  She just wants to have me in the same room - she doesn't even need to get a lot of direct attention.  If she can just "hang out" with me in the same room, she is content.

What can I do to break her of this early morning habit?    Thanks for your help.    James

Answer
Hi James,

Since your cat had been used to sleeping in bed with you, she must feel a bit lonely now that she is not allowed. Since cats are nocturnal by nature they are often most active at dusk and dawn and many cat caregivers find their cats are very snuggly at 7am. Usually if you're asleep that is not a problem, but if she has to be excluded from your room she does not understand why - and there's no way you can explain to her.

If she is not to be allowed in the bedroom (I assume this is either because your wife is not a fan of cats or she is allergic?) you'll just have to make the cat as comfortable as you can in her own areas. I would suggest getting her a companion cat, however if your wife is not very enthusiastic about the present cat she'd never go for that. Also if your cat has grown up as an only cat and is very attached to you she may never get along with another feline.

Instead, provide your cat with a heated bed for one thing - a warm place to curl up where she can pretend she's snuggling another warm animal will comfort her. They sell a number of types at www.drsfostersmith.com and your local pet stores, you can get a heated round nest bed or a flat pad, whatever type you think your cat would like best.

Cats do like a routine, anticipating events makes them feel more secure. You should try to set aside certain times in the day to pay attention to your cat fully, even if it's not for long it is most effective to do so at the same time of day. For example can youjoin her on the couch for an early morning snuggle while you read the paper and talk with your wife? Or perhaps after dinner a good play time with an interactive toy. PLaying with her in the evening will help make her sleep longer through the night.

If you feed her in the morning and her crying seems possibly related to food, you may want to dissociate yourself from the feeding by using an automatic feeder that either gravity-feeds constantly (not a good option if she overeats) or a timer-feeder that releases meals at a certain time. You can time those to open at 7am so she has something to do in the monring without waking you. That way even if it's just companionship she is after maybe eating will distract her for a bit!

Having a cat is like having a child in many ways, and it's to be expected that they want your companionship. It will be hard for your cat to accept that she has new restrictions on her time with you. Try to spend as much time with her as you can when you are not asleep, and again make an effort to do this on a schedule so she can anticipate "her" time with you.

Good luck!

-Tina