cat cleaning

Question
My mother has a 13 year old cat who is long haired. This cat is extremely "mean" to everyone except my mom and my neice. We cant even pet her without her hissing and slapping at us.
She went to her potty and when she used her litterbox the poop got stuck to the hair on her rearend. Now she want let ANYONE clean it off. We cant pick her up, or even trap her to put her in a pet carrier. How should we go about trying to help her without getting chewed up. Her name is Dynomite, and that is exactlly how she acts. We called a vet to see if there was anything we could give her to calm her down, but they said we would just have to bring her in, but we cant get her to do that. Please let me know if there is anything we can do.

Answer
Hello Lisa
Sounds like this kitty is a tiger! Has she always been this way, or is it just since the poop got stuck on her and it can't be cleaned off?  You might try to capture her under a laudry basket in a small space, like a bathroom, and then coax her into a kennel. The vet can then sedate her and do the necessary grooming, as this area need to be cleaned and free from obstructions.  If she has always been like this, then you may want to ask yourself what kind of quality of life does Dynomite have?  Is she just miserable all the time?  If no one can touch her or interact with her as part of the family, then maybe her quality of life is not as good as it could be.  Just my personal oinion.  I would never tolerate any pet (dog or cat ) that would bite or display violent behaviour toward me.  But, again, that's just my opinion.  Perhaps the vet may discover an ailment or something that has been causing discomfort for Dynomite, thus bringing on the type of behaviour you describe. If that could then be corrected, it may make Dynomite into a whole new cat!  
Good luck with her!
Thanx for your inquiry,
Tomay