new cat introductions

Question
QUESTION: Hi there...we have had a male cat, Stevie, since he was about 12 weeks old (he's almost 2) and he's been the sole kitty in the house the whole time.  He's EXTREMELY curious of other cats, very personable...almost human/dog like in that he comes when you call, not aggressive AT ALL, cuddles...just a basic sweetheart and our pride and joy.  We thought it would be nice to get him a buddy for weekend when we go out of town...that, and he always seems so interested when he sees other animals outside the door (never growls, hisses or fluffs up!).

SO we recently adopted a little girl cat because I figured two males might be aggressive toward one another.  We've now had Ali (a one year old female) for about a week.  We have put her in one bedroom with her own toys, food, litter and give them both separate attention.  She's definitely needy and VERY curious...always trying to open doors and run out of the room.  However, whenever Stevie is near the door or she hears his bell on the collar, she hisses like no tomorrow.  He doesn't react...it's just her.  Alone, she is very sweet but a little active.
How much time do I give them to get along?  My primary concern is for Stevie..he just wants a buddy and I don't want Ali to feel threatened or to attack him...he just stares at her when she hisses like "Why are you doing that? I just want to say hi!" Both cats are fixed as well...
We have the option to take her back to the adoption place is if things aren't working out, but I hate to do that...I just really, REALLY don't want to have to live with permanently separated cats.  Any suggestions?

ANSWER: Carrie,

OK, it is time they met each other face to face.  There will be some hissing, spitting, posturing, and the like.  You may have to keep separate litter pans and food dishes for a while.  You need to ignore anything they do.  Cats need to have time (days, weeks, even months) to figure out how they want to inter-relate to each other.  We mere humans do not understand the rules.  Even more daunting is that any action we may take to intervene will only make matters worse.  

Once they are together, no matter how awful things seem to be going, do not separate them again.  They need contact to work out their differences.  We tend to ascribe human emotions and motives to cats.  This is a mistake!  Cats do not think like we do and they tend to play very, very roughly which humans tend to mistake for true fighting!  Cats have very, very tough skin and generally are not going to hurt each other.

So, see how it goes, ignore the fuss.  If one starts chasing the other, this is a good sign and, even if it ends up in a "fight", they are getting along.

Please let me know how things go.

Best regards... Norm.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I have had them face to face...in fact, today I had them about two feet apart and Ali was ok for the most part but now Stevie is cocking his ears back and wagging his tail out of control like he wants to pounce on her.  I had them trade off being in a carrier in the middle of the room so the other could check them out...Stevie was all over the carrier trying to check her out while she just hissed and swatted.  When HE was in the carrier, she only hissed when she got near the thing.  I was playing with her with a laser light to get her close and and at those times she was either wrapped up in the laser or she'd hiss!  
When they were out and a few feet apart, she growled and he snuck around to get her from behind...when she went running down the hall after the laser beam, he ran after her and chased her under her bed.  I ran in after and grabbed him before he went under the bed as well.
So now he's getting more aggressive!  You think I should just let them loose and let him chase her into her safe haven?

Answer
Carrie,

Yes, that is what I think you ought to do, let them run together, come what may!  As long as they are separated, they will never really be able to get along.

The fact that Stevie is chasing Ali is a good sign!!!!!

Best regards... Norm.