Spiteful behavior?

Question
My dog started urinating and pooping on our bed or the spare bedroom bed (which we never sleep on) soon after we had a new baby.  She went to stay at my father's for a few months to make things easier on us.  He has a big fenced in yard, and she seems to really love it there.  She had stayed there before for a few days at a time when we went out of town, and my father never has any problems with her urinating or chewing up anything.  After a few months, we brought our dog back home.  Her behavior was fine for about six months, until 2 weeks ago when she urinated on our bed again!  We didn't make a big deal out of it, and we hoped it wouldn't become a habit again.  Then last week, we went out of town for the holiday, so back to my father's house she went for a few days.  She's been back home for a couple days now, and tonight she chewed up all of my husband's shoes!  They are in the same room as her crate, along with many of my shoes & my daughter's, but she only chewed my husband's! Since her crate is in the next room, we didn't even realize she did it until they were destroyed.  (She wasn't locked in the crate, but she carried all the shoes into it) She even ate most of the parts she chewed, because they're not in her crate w/ the destroyed shoes.  We thought she was doing this out of spite, but I just researched it and read that dog's brains can't comprehend being spiteful.  She's never chewed anything before, except a few baby items when the baby was first born last year.  Do you think she did this because she's worried that we're going to send her away again and she's stressed out?  Or is it because she really likes it at my father's with the big yard, and she associates bad behavior w/ getting to go visit him?  My husband's the one that always takes her to my father's house and picks her up.  He lets her outside to go to the bathroom the majority of the time, but I'd say she's closer to me.  Why would she target him?
The urinating on the bed thing happend a few days before we went away, so how does that fit into the picture?  I really like having the dog, and the kids both love her.  But as things stand now, my husband wants to see if my father will take the dog permanantly.  He said he can't wonder whether or not he's going to have shoes to wear to work every morning.  I realize we could put all the shoes up and shut the bedroom doors, but this seems ridiculous for a 4 year old dog.  She's also been in heat for the last 2 weeks, I don't know if that has anything to do with it. Sorry this is so long!  Please write back.  Thanks, Jodi

Answer
Sounds like she is sufferring from anxiety.  The destructive behavior when you are away is classic for separation anxiety.  Plus having a baby in the house means schedules change, she gets less attention and there is a new addition that is more important...dogs know the "Pack" has changed and do develop anxiety about these things.

I would recommend getting DAP Diffusers to plug in the house to help reduce her anxiety and stress levels...these are available online, at petstores and some vet offices.

Also, using flower essences may help her as well.
www.petsynergy.com/flower.html
Visit this website to read about all the different flower essences and pick one or two or three that are appropriate for her behavior and add them to her drinking water daily.

If she doesn't improve, then you should consult a veterinary behaviorist as she may need to be put on anti-anxiety medication.

GOOD LUCK!