My horse sides up to other horses while Im on his back!

Question
Hello!  I am 40 years old and have recently purchased my very first horse.  The horse is stabled and the manager of the stable found this horse through a friend.  The horse is 5 years old.  He is a Bay Quarter Horse, gelding. He is broke and friendly, however, I am still pretty much a beginner.  I have been riding only a year after being away from horses for 20 years.  The one thing we noticed about this horse is he has evidence of many bites on him.  He was used as a trail horse, but obviously was the low man in the group.  When I rode him alone in the arena, he was spirited and seemed to just want to run, although he was trying to control himself.  He trots very fast also and doesn't know how to slow his trot.  The real problem appeared when I rode him when other people were on their horses in the arena.  This horse runs right up to them, almost completely against them.  The first time he did this, I was unable to stop him.  I was pulling as hard as I could for him to move away, but he didn't respond and thankfully the other rider was able to get their horse back under control.  I didn't understand what was going on, but let it go.  The next time I was in the arena with other riders he did the very same thing, and would not respond to my request to move away.  The other horse was upset and I was scared to death of getting caught between two horses.  So, being a fairly new rider, I am now afraid to ride this horse around other horses, but it will be very difficult not to.  What do you suggest?  Thank you so much for any help you can provide.

Answer
Hi Tammy!

I must be perfectly honest and say this IS NOT the horse I would have allowed a client of mine to purchase in your current situation.

First, I have years of experience with 5-8 yr. old QH geldings and they are usually very difficult and physically strong and mentally willful.  They are akin to a juvenile delinquent in most cases....I'm not kidding.  They need a very firm hand and a forceful personality to even get through to them...not to mention the constant vigilance one must keep up to keep them in line.  Not only in the saddle but, at all times.

Second, you are too inexperienced for such a young and pushy horse.  You desire a pleasant ride with minimal interference from you to keep your horse correct....you will not get this with your current mount.  We'll address that next.  I would have recommended a 15-20 yr. old ex trail horse/lesson horse or show horse who has excellent manners and respects his training.  He/she could be a little arthritic, need shoes and maybe a supplement but, would have a good heart and a kind disposition naturally that would be helped along by understanding the world around him.

This is the kind of horse that only needs "maintenance".  He could be left alone for days and come out of the stall perfectly calm and ready to ride.  He would respect other horses in his arena or trails because he has been around that all his life....all of these qualities would make him well-suited to you and would result in a calm and happy ride for you all the time, no matter what.

Getting back to your current mount.  Too young, too energetic, too untrained and too too much of just about everything.  Yes, you could invest time and money and fix him to be your ideal mount.  But, you must be a large part of that and it will take time.  No one can rush the benefit of the aging process and just plain ole' time in the saddle.

What to do?

Sit down, think long and hard about what you want from owning a horse.  A challenge and a project OR a nice, calm ride when you feel like it...whether it's once a day or once a week.  Selling this current mount should be easy enough and replacing him with a better suited horse can still be accomplished.  Your choice.

Lastly, I suggest weekly formal riding lessons with a reputable instructor who understands what you want from a horse and just how far you are willing to go in riding...be clear in what you want when discussing your goals.

On a side note, I would consider just what the motives of your barn manager were in selling you such a completely inappropriate horse.  Often money is the culprit and good sense and care for the client and horse's situation go right out the window.  She may seem nice and all but, I feel she did not have YOUR best interests in mind at the time of this sale.

You mentioned the emotion of "fear" far too many times for a new horse owner...you should be saying words like "happy" "love" and "I can't wait to ride him again!"

You have to make some decisions...this time with your head and not your heart.

Good luck and remember to always wear an ASTM/SEI approved helmet!

Solange