Bonding Difficulty with Two Males

Question
Hi Dana,

I have two neutered male rabbits that I am trying to bond with some difficulty.  Harvey, my resident male, had a bonded partner who died in December.  So understanding the joys of companionship, Harvey very desperately wants to be friends with the new bunny, Gramps.  

Gramps was a dump; I found him outside, starving and very unhealthy.  There were other domestic rabbits in the area where I found him, but they looked much healthier, appeared bonded, and ran away from me, whereas Gramps hopped up to me and let me pick him up.  I mention this because it could suggest that perhaps he wanted to escape from the other rabbits, which could explain his behavior toward Harvey.  

I have since rehabilitated Gramps, and Harvey and Gramps have been living in separate rooms with a fence between them for about 4 months now.  They lie down on opposite sides of the fence together, and Harvey actually tries to groom Gramps through the fence at times.  However, when we try going to neutral territory for bonding, Gramps very aggressively tries to attack Harvey every time Harvey moves.  BUT, if we hold Gramps down (grooming him ourselves so that he is relaxed but immobile), and place Harvey next to him, they will stay together and cuddle.  Basically, it seems that if we could just get Gramps to let Harvey approach him, everything would be ok!

On a side note, Gramps is amazingly sweet and cuddly with humans-- I've never had a rabbit enjoy human interaction as much as he does!  When he first arrived, he appeared to have a nervous drinking habit: every time I'd stop grooming him, he would run over to the water bowl and start drinking, and it honestly looked as though he were unsure of what to do so he would go drink.  (And he would stay still to be groomed for as long as I could groom him,  even sometimes for over an hour at a time...I actually used to worry about him because he would never shove my hand away to say he'd had enough, nor would he ever head-butt or do anything else to assert himself; he has since stopped the drinking habit and appears more confident).  I mention all this because I wonder if some insecurity (and potential previous bad interactions with rabbits) could be what causes him to lash out at Harvey when Harvey approaches, but try to be friends when he feels safe with the fence separating them.  Any advice on how to move beyond this would be greatly appreciated!!!

Thanks,
Nicole

Answer
Dear Nicole,

Boy, to solve this one you'd have to get into Gramps's head.  Bonding two males is never easy, and if one is already defensive and insecure (I think that's a good guess) it's even harder.

I'm assuming you've tried car rides and the tips in the many good articles here:

http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-a=00062824-sp00000000&sp-q=bonding

But sometimes even those don't work, and you'll have to resign yourself to either having two separate male bunnies, or possibly letting each of them choose a spayed female companion from your local rabbit rescuer.  Or at least Harvey, since he seems to be the more needy one.  Gramps might be just as happy with human companionship.

Wish I could offer a better solution, but this might be the best route.

Hope this helps.

Dana