tiels....now tiel

Question
I got May and Figaro 5 yrs ago. I was their 3-4m maybe 5th
home. They were a mated pair had had some bad experiences/
owners and I was told they were anywhere from 8-12 yrs old
when I got them. They have never been keen on being handled,
which I respected because they'ld been through so much. Over
the yrs they came to trust and love me and would let me carry
them if they needed a ride somewhere or she would land on my
shoulder for a bit. "No petting Mama" thank you very much. Two
weeks before xmas I came downstairs to find my boy on the
floor of the cage. i have been grieveing with May and worrying
about her ever since. I've tried to get help from countless
websites and haven't been very successful. She spent her whole
life with him and now only has me and I'm not enough. I've tried
stuffed bird buddies, I am sleeping on the sofa because I got
them a silk ficus tree to put next to the cage so they'ld have
choices on where to "hang out", so she isn't alone at night yet
still has all her choices on where to sleep and I take her cage
upstairs and perch it on a stool when I take my shower/dress etc
to leave so when I'm home we are together. But I know she's
unhappy, I'm giving her anything and everything she will eat but
she's still loosing weight because she only eats when I'm home
and having a meal with her. She screams and cries when I leave
the room let alone the house and I don't know what to do for
her. I looked into adoption but the one source I got help from
and trust implicitly said she needs to be able to grieve her loss,
just like humans do and that she might not be receptive to
another bird after a lifetime with him. I try to be home as much
as possible and put Disney channel on (children/cartoon voices
closer to "flock" sounds as I understand it) whenever I leave but
surely there is something else I can do for her.  Thank you for
any help/resources you can give me. i don't know that I could
survive it if I lose her too.  Janine & May  

Answer
Hi,

First off- let me thank you for giving May and the late Figaro a second chance and a wonderful, loving home! Unfortunately, it is all too common that birds are tossed from home to home and neglected or abused.

This situation can be a very difficult one and is hard to give advice on. Just like people- birds grieve in their own ways. Some never get pass the loss of a mate, others get over it very quickly (or at least, they don't "appear" to be grieving). Getting a second bird, might help her feel like she isn't alone anymore, however, this is a serious step that you would want to consider carefully.

I would recommend taking May to a vet to make sure that the weight she has loss isn't dangerous to her health. It sounds like you are doing everything humanly possible to help her through this time. And the only other possibility I could think or would be to get another bird (or a pair of birds, like some finches to keep her entertained and have the company of other birds around).

However, like you mentioned... getting a second cockatiel or bird doens't mean that they will necessarily get along (although most cockatiels get along with other cockatiels very easily).

I wish I could help you more, but unfortunately I can't. You can check out this article though, on things to consider before getting a second bird:

http://www.cockatiels.org/articles/behavior/secondbird.html

I hope this helps somewhat. Good Luck with little May.

-Maggie