starting to hate my dog

Question
I have a Rat Terrier that I adopted about five years ago, he was 7 months old.  I took my time deciding what dog to get because I adopted a Shar pei and then learned what difficult dogs they are to socialize.  I didn't want to make the same mistake.  So I searched for almost a month, every weekend.  Eventually my search led me back to the first pet store to find the same dog that was there a month earlier looking sad and alone in his little cage.  I felt so bad for him I took him home that day.  Now I think I may have made a huge mistake.  Maybe this dog has emotional problems (is that even possible) because of his early life stuck in a little glass box for so long.  Well, five years later my dog, Sassy (who my son named after the cat in Homeward Bound because he didn't believe that Sassy was really a dog) is aggressive, hyper, steals food whenever he can, pees and poops on the floor but ONLY when I leave him alone, he bites and charges at strangers (a stranger is anyone but my son and I, no matter how many times he has met you).  I have to put him in another room now when I have company because he has bitten so many people and he barks incessantly the entire time they're there and any time I leave the house.  My neighbors hate me.  What ever room I put him in while I have company will be pooped in, peed in and any sort of damage that dog can create, he will.  He has shredded several sets of bed sheets, toys, clothes, linoleum floors and scratched at the door until his nails bleed.  I tried to crate train him but he poops in the crate and then kicks it out all over the surrounding area and I have a disgusting mess to clean up EVERY time including a poop covered dog to bathe.    Once he barked for so long he even lost his voice!  I didn't know dogs could lose their voices!  I am at my breaking point.  I even put him out the front door one day hoping he would run away and wouldn't you know he sat there for roughly 30 minutes.  I opened the door to find him sitting there, quietly looking at me  until I invited him back in.  The only time this dog has ever sat still and quiet in his life.  I don't want to take him to the pound because I feel like it will be a death sentence for him.  I cant bring myself to do it.  My son adores him and at times so do I. The dog is seriously cute and affectionate but only to my son and I.   But my quality of life is seriously affected by this animal and I am at my wits end. I need help!!!!!

Answer
You're not starting to hate him, you are completely and thoroughly burned out on him !

You have a couple of decisions to make.

First, you need to decide if you have the time, discipline and wherewithall to work with a personal trainer. One who would come to your house and be able to observe him first hand and teach you how to work with him.

If you can;t do that wholeheartedly for one reason or another (many people just can't afford it, or know they do not have the discipline to be thorough with the training), then you need to decide about his future.

I strongly recommend that you surrender him to breed rescue, BUT, with a serious bite history like his many groups will not be willing to take him.

Whether you choose to go with a trainer or not, I recommend that you get in touch with a rescue right away. They may be able to hook you up with a trainer, or perhaps a breeder in your area to mentor you in dealing with him.  Or at least you would have the right contacts to help you decide about his future.

Just google rat terrier rescue - even if the one you find is not near you they may be able to point you to one in your area, or may have a member in your area.

I would also strongly recommend (and this is not something I do lightly) that you see a vet about some medication. He sounds extremely stressed out and anxiety-ridden.

I'm sorry that your situation is so extreme, but there's nothing I can suggest that is going to address all of the problems you are having, and you need someone who can be right there to see it for themselves.

Good luck, Heather

-Beth