shy golden retriever

Question
I have a 2 part question...
first: We bought our puppy from (we didn't know at the time) a puppy mill and she is overly shy with everyone (except with us or other pets) She will hide behind us if someone comes to visit and most likely have an accident if they try to pet her. We try to socialize her as much as we can but it doesn't seem to help. Do you have any ideas?

We also have a lot of trouble with the crate. Our dog is now 9 months old and she stills have a lot of accidents (pee and poop) during the day when we're not home. She loves her crate and she doesn't have any accident at night only during the day.
We're ready to try everything!

Answer
Even many ''reputable'' breeders hold puppies too long and fail to properly socialize them.  To relate well to people and strangers a puppy needs contact with as many people as possible between 6-12 weeks.  Otherwise you will see just the problems you are.  It isn't easy to undo the damage.  One thing that will help is having people give her treats.  Goldens usually are very food motivated.  

As for the accidents when they pet her, many dogs eventually outgrow it, but you can reduce it by building the dog's confidence up.  Start with obedience training.  The key to most behavior problems is approaching things using the dog's natural instincts.  Dogs see all the people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in the pack and a top dog.  Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones.  You can learn to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. Start at http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/  As you praise the dog for following your commands, it will build its confidence.  

Play tug of war with the dog and lose.  However at the end of the game, take the rope or toy and put it up, less the dog becomes confused about who is top dog.  Ropes from the pets' store quickly turn to hazardous shreds.   Ones I made  lasted much better.   Go to a hardware or home center that sells rope by the foot.  Buy 2' of 3/4" poly rope. Melt the ends, and tie  knots in it.   Get them as tight as possible, put it in a vise and pound it with a hammer.  Watch carefully, and be ready to discard when it comes apart.
The crate helps too.

Is there any way somebody could make it back at lunch to give her a break?  Could you find a neighbor or a professional dog walker.  If available and affordable, doggy day crate is a great idea.  

This should help cope with accidents in the crate:  Skip the
bedding. At first it gets wet, and later it can be chewed into choking
hazards. A wire grid in the bottom will help keep the puppy up out of
accidents at first. They are available with the crates, but expensive and hard to find. A piece of closely spaced wire closet shelving from a home supply place is cheaper. I am now using a plastic vegetable bin with plenty of holes drilled in the bottom.  Here is a link to a picture of my puppy in its crate, http://www.photolocker.net/images/Labman/hollyhighanddry.jpg