unfriendly cat

Question
i have two cats, both desexed. one male scottish fold 3 yrs old and one female chinchilla coming 1 yr old.
male cat - i love him he loves me , no problem at all.
female cat - i love her but i think she hates me. its been almost a year now but she is still not responding to her name. she refuses to allow me to pet her or touch her or carry her or even come close to her. i know she isnt scared of me, cos she sleeps with me on my bed (but only at my feet, never near my face or upper body) and she would greet me when i come home and meow at me when she wants something. but whenever i try to get close to her she runs away.
i do admit that i pay more attention to my male cat only because she doesnt allow me to play with her. whenever my male cat sleeps on me asking for a rub she would just sit a distance away looking at us. i really dont know what i should do? is there something wrong? my chinchilla has a very close bond to my male cat but not to me. please help me :(

Answer
Well, I don't know anything about her previous history before you got her. Possibly she didn't get enough handling when she was a kitten and just never got socialized. Or maybe she was abused and is fearful of humans as a result.
But probably something like this is compelling her to keep her distance.

The only way to get a cat to do what you want it to do is to find a way to make it WANT to. Are there treats that she enjoys? Could you lock your other cat out of a room and give her treats on the floor, gradually moving them closer to you? If she likes the treats and sees you as the source of them, perhaps she will begin to approach in order to get more. As soon as she gets close enough, offer her a treat on your flat open hand. Do not try to pat her, just let her take the treat. Try several sessions like this and don't try to touch her until she seems to be comfortable taking the treat out of your hand. This will teach her that people's hands are not a Bad Thing. Then you can work towards patting her with one hand while you offer the treat in the other to distract her.

Does she respond to toys? That might also be a way to interact with her. She might just be jealous of the male cat getting more attention and refusing to compete. But if you can manage some one-on-one time with her, you may be able to turn things around. Don't give up, she is still young enough to change and adapt and become more friendly, and if indeed she has been abused, it will take time before she can be truly comfortable being treated with love.

I hope this helps

iris