Aggression towards me

Question
hi norman!
i really hope you can help me. about 1month ago i got my first cat ever from a shelter. he's an 11month old orange tabby and was neutered at the shelter 2 days before i adopted him. he was really beautiful and meek at the shelter. since he's been in my apt. he is very aggressive and vicious towards me. constantly biting and scratching and pouncing whether i'm playing w/ him or not.  i was told its better to get an pet of the opposite sex which is why i selected a male kitty.  is it possible that maybe he doesn't like females which maybe why he bites me? will he ever grow out of this behaviour? are orange tabbies just vicious and i have to accept this and return him at once? i'm so confused. i play with him and pet him but he turns from accepting the pets to biting my hand drawing blood. this happens before he starts thumping his tail as well.  i'm practically scared of him. i have to lock my bedroom at night because he bites me when i sleep..esp. my lower lip.  he gets this wild look in his eyes and stands on his hind legs with his ear pointed outwards a lot.  he constantly stalks me by getting real low to the ground and shifts his tail side to side and pounces me with usually a good firm bite to the leg or arm.  i'm at my wits end. i really wanted a cat, maybe certain cats cannot be tamed.  or is it possible that not every cat will match the owner's personality? will he ever bond with me or is it a lost cause if a month into living here he is still on the attack? what can you suggest to me? any comments would be incredibly helpful. thanks so much!
in dire straits, sharon from toronto

Answer
Sharon,

Initially, he was probably reacting to be neutered and going to a new place.  In addition, shelter kitties are rarely socialized (this may be a reason he was turned into the shelter to begin with).  It may be possible to socialize, him, but you will need to be ready to take a fairly long time to accomplish this (maybe weeks and months).  If you have had him for a month, he should not be showing any aggression towards you due to hormones.

The picking a gender of cat opposite to yours is nonsense.  Cats are individuals and, because of that, they react to each individual person in an individual way.

The fact that your cat plays roughly and aggressively is a result of not being socialized to play with people.  Normally, when we socialize kittens (adults also are socializable in this way but it takes longer), we play with them gently, carry them around, talk to them softly.  If they begin to be aggressive with us, we put them down and walk away.  Eventually they get the idea.  What one must remember is that cat skin is very, very tough (watch a vet give them a shot), unlike human skin which is very, very soft.  Kittens play very, very roughly with their siblings and, unless taught differently, this is how they will play.  

If when he stalks and pounces he is not making that low pitched banshee shrieking sound and does not have that wild look in his eyes, he may already think he has bonded with you and does not realize he is hurting you.  If, on the other hand, his ears are back and he is emitting that banshee shreik and does have a wild look in his eyes, take him back, he is, in truth on the attack and not playing!!!!!

To me, it sounds as if he is playing (although I understand why you do not think so!).  So, he may be trainable to learn how to play less harshly.

I would take a look at www.clickertraining.com, Karen Pryor's web site, and order the starter kit for cats.  She and friends of mine who have used her techniques have had good success retraining cats' behaviors. This may shorten the length of time it would take to socialize your kitty.

If he were timid and afraid all the time, this would be a different type of socialization.  As it is, unless he is behaving like an agressive psycho kitty and truly attacking to kill, as opposed to "play" attacking (which is what it sounds like to me), he can be retrained and socialized to be gentle with you.

If you have more questions, please come back to me.  Also, please keep me informed.

Good luck & best regards... Norm.