My cat is jealous of my other cat

Question
QUESTION: Hi Ali.  I hope you can provide me some insight.  About 10 months ago I adopted a black male Devon Rex kitten (now 1 year) with the intention of providing a playmate for my female Tortie Devon (now 4 years old).  I understand that cats rough house and that playing and fighting is perfectly normal.  In my quest to understand my kitties' behavior (I'd never had cats before), I've also learned that jealousy is completely normal and that you should not intervene when these sometimes concerning interactions take place. Originally, I was doing so but have since stopped.

My two cats do mutually groom - my female Tortie seems to groom the black male kitten much more than he does her. They also occasionally sleep together and engage in mutual play.  However, my black male kitten Max, is far more aggressive toward my older tortie female, Lizzie (I didn't name her!)  He is so jealous of her that when she hops on the bed to be with me, he tackles her and harrasses her until she leaves.  If she tries to enter a room where I am, he will block the door and run her off. The second I call her name, he is right behind her. If she's sleeping near me, he runs in and ambushes her. It's gotten to the point where she almost looks to me for permission to enter a room I'm in and sometimes avoids coming in to rooms where he and I are together.

For a while I figured this was typical sibling rivalry/jealousy that would eventually work itself out.  The problem is that my female tortie recently had a stroke and was paralyzed on one side.  She was in the hospital for 5 days and when she returned, this behavior escalated. I'm certain a lot of this has to do with her leaving the home and coming back with unfamiliar scents. The challenge for me is that I don't want his aggression toward Lizzie to interfere with her recovery. That said, she is bouncing back remarkably well. She has regained a significant amount of mobility and range of motion. Within a week she was walking without slipping. Now she's able to run and even jump on to the couch and bed. She definitely hasn't regained all of her strength and will occasionally limp.

Lizzie seems very secure with me and needs much less attention than Max and she's the one being attacked!  She's more independent and particular about how and when you give her attention but is becoming less assertive and avoidant.  On the other hand, Max is a love bug! I give him TONS of love and affection. I work at home so I am able to cuddle with him and pet him and talk with him quite a bit. He is extremely loving and wants to be with you every minute you're home. Devons by nature love people and get very attached to their owners. I've read they like people more than other cats. Of the two, he definitely gets more attention.

My question is this - is this very bratty, territorial behavior normal and should I just let it go?  Or - should I address this differently given her medical condition?  And -is this particular type of aggression something I should be concerned about regardless of her medical condition? I recognize that in a two cat household, one cat will typically show more dominance than the other but this seems a bit extreme.  

Help! I just want to make sure I do the right thing for both of them. I want them both to be healthy and happy.

Thanks so much, Ali!

ANSWER: Lisa,

Given Lizzie's current medical issues Max needs to take a backseat for now. He has shown everyone his dominance, thank you, but now it is Lizzie's turn for attention. Bring Lizzie into the room you are in and shut Max out so that Lizzie can get some one on one time. This is important for Lizzie's recovery. That having been said, I wouldn't advise totally ignoring Max. If you start totally ignoring Max, it wouldn't surprise me to hear that he starts doing behaviors with great annoyance value just to bring the spotlight back to him. I am talking about a half hour to an hour at a time just for Lizzie to get some cuddle time and realise that you love her to bits. Be prepared, Max is not going to like this one bit! He will protest, explain in simple terms that Lizzie needs some extra love right now and that his turn is next. I know it sounds ridiculous to explain things to a cat, but I find it works. I believe that cats understand much more of our vocabulary than we give them credit for. Hopefully that answers your question at this time. If you need further advice or guidance don't be afraid to check with your veterinary staff or contact me again. I will try to make my answers as prompt and accurate as possible. Hope Lizzie recovers well from her stroke! She seems to be well on her way from what you describe...

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you SO MUCH for responding so quickly and for your well-wishes for Lizzie. She's showing progress every day!

I'm so relieved hearing your response. You're the best! That is exactly what I've been doing when he's been really bad.  Now I know I should be consistent and lock him out every day.  And I don't think it's ridiculous to talk to your cats.  Devons are extremely vocal by nature and I too have had many conversations with both of them. I completely agree they understand far more than we realize.

Two other questions:

When I lock Max out, Lizzie immediately runs to the door and meows and paws under the door. What's this about?  You'd think she'd be relieved he was gone! My gut says this is a good sign about their overall relationship but I'd love some confirmation on this.

Also - about those other annoying behaviors...Max has plenty of them. He's a complete rascal.  No matter how many times I say no, squirt him or clap my hands, he insists on knocking everything over on my nightstand.  This is a daily occurrence. He also likes to get up on the counters and tables regardless of how many times I use those same reprimand techniques. And don't even get me started with his darting out the front door to frolic in the snow for a while. But I digress...Even the dominant stare and a firm no (which I only use in moments of desperation) doesn't always work. He's the most affectionate, friendly, sweet little guy but he's also just as deliberate and he's making me crazy!  Will some of this mellow a bit as he gets older. He just turned 1.



ANSWER: Lisa,

It sounds like Lizzie really does love Max, but I do think that right now it is more beneficial for Lizzie to have a bit of alone time with you each day while she recovers from the insult of the stroke to her body. As for Max, I think that he has learned the feline law of gravity - kitty goes up, stuff goes crash! It is going to take a bit for him to grow out of the naughty stage...I suspect that he will probably be a bit more sensible when he turns two or  three...I know that isn't much consolation now, but he will grow out of some of his mischief....They all do....Part of the problem may simply be that Max is a fairly smart guy and he is looking for ways to entertain himself because he doesn't feel that there are enough challenges in his daily life. Have you tried hide and seek with favorite treats? How about interactive kitty games with a tease or a kitten mitten? Be creative, but keep him busy because although I have never had the pleasure of a Rex's company I hear that they are incredibly brilliant. Hope that answers all of your concerns. Please do not hesitate to contact me again with any further questions or concerns. I will do my best to provide you with prompt and accurate answers. Good luck reining Max's mischief in, and best wishes for Lizzie's speedy recovery!

PS: I would be delighted if you would send pictures of your beautiful Devon Rexs, it isn't often I get questions about such a unique breed. Thanks in advance!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------


Lizzie - Tortie Devon   QUESTION: I would be happy to send you pictures!  I've attached but promise to send a better one of Max soon. The site only lets you load one picture at a time.

You are correct.  Max is very bright.  He's always on top of cupboards, opening closed doors and figuring out new ways to sneak outside.  He fetches without having been taught and daily, he brings me the toy he wants to play with and drops it at my feet.  Sometimes it's a wand with a long string.  Sometimes it's a feather teaser.  Sometimes it's a toy mouse. I actually play with him quite a bit.  In addition, I leave paper bags and open boxes laying around for him to climb in and I hide and throw treats for fetching. I even take him on field trips to the back yard (on a leash) and let him out on the enclosed porch to roam around and look out the window. At this point, I think it's time to invest in one of those huge cat tree/perch/house - you know, the ones you have to hide when company comes over. Then, I'll pack up my nightstand and accept the fact that he's going to be exasperating for a while.

Thanks again.  You've been wonderful! I can tell you really love and know a lot about animals.

Lisa

Answer
Lisa,

In terms of the scratch posts and huge cat trees they are getting nicer looking. There are some (although expensive) that are made to look like trees with little kitty clubhouses in them. I am saving up for one for my own cats. When you have a bright cat like Max the important thing is to keep him challenged. Introduce new things, be creative finding things that might entertain him. Do be careful of toys from China as recent media reports say that there have been toxic substances like lead, chromium, and other toxins that can cause long term damage. I have thrown out all of my Made in China toys and exchanged them for the more expensive, but safer toys made in local areas. There is a Catsitter DVD that my cats just love - it has great footage of hamsters, gerbils, mice, butterflies, squirrels and more...The sound tracks can wear on human nerves after awhile simply because they are really repetitive. If you can stand going a bit nuts with the same noises over and over again it may be worth shot to keep your lovely and intelligent cats out of mischief. I must say that Lizzie is absolutely gorgeous, I have two torties of my own, but they are just plain mixed breeds. They are still beautiful though. Good luck keeping Max occupied and hopefully he settles soon. I look forward to seeing a picture of your little mischief maker! Take care for now. Remember I am always here to answer more questions or take care of concerns, so please feel free to contact me again with other issues. I will do my best to make sure that you get a prompt and accurate answer.