My 5 year old not getting along with kitten

Question
Hi Kate,
My 5 year old female and my new 4 month old male kitten started out great together, they bonded quickly and were playful and happy. Unfortunately, my kitten brought in a parasite(even after being checked out by vet) and both became quite ill with diarrhea for several weeks. They are both better now but my older kitty seems to hate the little guy now(can't blame her). The kitten is quite aggressive when trying to play and my other one now hisses& growls at him constantly. She appears quite stressed and tries to avoid him. What can I do to help heal this relationship? The whole point of getting the kitten was for her to have a playmate. I appreciate any advice you may have. Thank you!!!

Answer
Hi,
take a step back in their relationship. By this i mean you will have to re introduce them as if they had never met before. This can be a slow process but it will build trust and confidence in both cats again. other wise the danger is that every time they meet at the moment it is a stressful situation. this will just make the situation Worse. Your quite right in saying that your female cat now blames your kitten for being ill, this is similar to trauma aggression, when something bad happens they associate that bad thing with a other thing or animal and the only way over it is the slow re introduction. i will put a link to my page regarding introducing cats for your info at the bottom of this page.

Your kitten also need to learn to play gentler. I don't know how old he was when he left his mother, but sometimes if they leave to soon they do not learn the socializing skills their mother pass on to them. Learning to play is a basic lesson for a kitten and if they play to hard their mother will tell them off. It sounds like your kitten has not learnt this yet. When you play with him, never use your hands always use a toy. if he does become too boisterous, do not shout or make a loud noise, simply walk away immediately and stop the game. he will learn that this is not a good reaction and help him to stop this behavior.

I hope this helps, i know the relationship between cats can be a very good one if approached and handled slowly and calmly. But even then sometimes there are no guarantees and sometimes cats just never get on.but with your kitten still learning every day, i have a good feeling that his behavior will modify and the two will become friends again.

Good luck
Kate

Here is the link to my page: /introducing-cats.html