Cat bonding

Question
Hello, Carol - Hi Tina - My husband and I adopted a 12-week-old russian blue mix kitten last April.  We call her Piper.  Her mother was a feral cat.  We brought Piper home where our two older cats (ages 9 and 5) live with us.  Piper has bonded closely with both cats to the exclusion of us!  If I take Piper and close her in a room with me, she is the sweetest, most loving kitten, and will purr, rub on me, play and be the perfect kitten; however, anytime she is loose in the house, she sticks closely to our other two cats and runs from us if we approach her.  We have always been good to her, and I've spent time holding her and petting her. Our two older cats are very bonded to us.  I have hoped she would watch us interact with them and maybe get a clue. Here it is 7 months later, and we have only made slightly better progress with her.  Are there any tips you can share on how we can get her to bond more closely with us?  We'd be grateful for any help.  Thank you, Jeanice Lewis

Answer
Jeanice,

There's no real data to prove that cats attach themselves to humans for reasons beyond physical survival and attention.

Cats choose other cats, if available, to play kitty games  with that humans can't play, to rough-house and chase that humans can't do with them, and to snuggle with. The bond they have with each other is different than the bond the cat will have with you. You can't give the cat all that she needs from other cats, and you can't get all that you need from her. The other cats aren't rivals for the young one's attention. Her bond to you is food...which is actually a good start. The other cats can give her fun and excitement, but you give her food and love....which the other cats can't do.

Bonding needs to develop and it sometimes comes when a cat is older. Different breeds also are different in their bonding to humans. If her mom was a feral she may never totally bond to you as you feel she should. It is ingrained in them not to trust humans.

I would suggest playing alot of interactive games with Piper. It will help with the bonding. But she is young yet and her mind is on playing with her 'friend's. She WILL settle down as she matures. Whether she will ever totally bond to you will depend on her personality as much as yours.

Carol