Brother Demands All Attention

Question
About four months ago I adopted my two boys, Sacco and Vanzetti.  They're nearly one year old brown tabbies, littermates.  As soon as they switched from the humane society to my apartment, their personalities changed.  Vanzetti was a bully who had to be separated from the other cats; Sacco was a sweetheart to all the other kitty residents.  Today Vanzetti is a meek submissive beta cat.  His brother Sacco, the alpha, consistently "beats him up," bites his neck, sits right on top of him when he's sleeping in the cat condo, etc.  As far as I can tell, this is all perfectly normal behavior.  But one thing - a pretty major thing - is really getting to me.  Vanzetti will not be affectionate with me if Sacco is in the room.  I will be petting him and he will be in heaven and then Sacco saunters into the room and Vanzetti snaps up rigidly and sits at the end of the bed, or even leaves the room.  If we're watching TV and I'm stroking him, he repeatedly checks Sacco's perch to see if he's sleeping.  It's rubbing off on me and now I'm paranoid!  Whenever I touch Vanzetti I look over my shoulder to make sure Sacco isn't watching.  Sacco gets very moody and depressed and he hasn't been the same.  Recently, I've been favoring his dominance, giving him more attention than his brother, etc, and his mood swings are getting a little better, but I cannot see Vanzetti ever "letting himself go" while I stroke him as long as Sacco is around.  I shut the door with Vanzetti in the room, we have our cuddle time, but as soon as Sacco starts crying outside, Vanzetti runs and sits by the door.  Play time over.  It's driving me nuts.  I want an open household where we can all be affectionate in peace.  I hate to admit it, but I'm considering finding a new home for the bully.  I'd rather not -- the boys love each other, groom each other, play together.  But they also fight.  A lot.  And if Vanzetti even looks at a mouse toy when Sacco is around... big trouble.  So I'll wrap this up now -- I don't mind that Sacco is dominant and kicks Vanzetti out of all of his sleeping places.  That seems normal enough.  But I can't stand only being affectionate with my other kitty in private.  Enough is enough!  Thanks so much in advance for your help.

Answer
Zack,

I would suggest that you start using a homeopathic remedy called Rescue Remedy. It is a blend of flower essences that can be purchased at most health food/natural health stores. I would recommend that you place 8-10 drops in the cats' fresh water every morning, you will want to change the water every morning even if it isn't routine (which it should really be), because the rescue remedy is not a chemically synthesised blend which makes it actually evaporate into the air faster than a drug might. This should help to calm both of the kitties down and give your little fraidy kitty some more confidence to be more comfortable in his environment. While I am writing to you I should warn you that you will need to make sure that there is a feeding station and litter pan per cat plus one, just to make sure that everyone is able to go to the washroom and eat freely, one cat can't guard all of the spots at once! Let me know if any further issues crop up, you may find that the dominance tones down and something else crops up, or that the timidity fades and there is another issue. The reason that you find this with homeopathy is that it can be a little like peeling an onion, you start to find out where everything came from, the good news is that you should be able to see changes that are long lasting or permanent. I would strongly encourage you to look for a holistic vet in your area who has experience with conventional medicine as well as homeopathy as the advice I have given is just to start you off. Good luck, keep in touch! If you have any further questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me again.