is my cat being bullied?

Question
I recently moved into my boyfriend's apartment and brought my 10 month
old girl cat. My boyfriend has a boy cat who is a little over a year. Both cats
are spayed/nurtured. My boyfriend and I figured that if we let the cats get to
know each other little by little, they would end up getting along fine since
they are both really young. We have all been living together for about a month
now and the two of them pretty much get along great, they nap nearby each
other and even sometimes clean each other but I get really concerned when
they play...The boy cat is much stronger and larger and when they wrestle my
girl cat makes horrible noises as if she is in pain and probably is because he
has hurt me too even though he just means to play. I don't want to separate
them when I leave the apartment because they usually have a good time
together but when they really get riled up wrestling, about 3 or 4 times a day,
my cat will scream in pain and hiss at him and he won't let go of her unless I
intervene. The weird part is that sometimes, after escaping from him, my girl
cat will go back to him to play more after a couple of minutes, usually the
same thing will happen again and she will get eventually get away and hide
for a little while until they both are calmed down and just relax around the
apartment. Should I be concerned that she is too fragile to play with him
since she is so small for her age and he is so strong and big? I'm not quite
sure what to do.

Answer
Darla,

The play that you are describing is fairly normal. Litter mates tend to play that way, just because your little girl is fairly vocal doesn't mean that she is being hurt. What you are seeing is that the two cats are setting limits with each other, creating boundaries if you wish. As long as fur isn't flying and they aren't howling at each other like alley cats I wouldn't get too involved in terms of physically separating them. I would suggest that you keep a squirt bottle handy and if things get out of hand you can send a stream of water their way. The fact that you are physically able to separate them without injury is another sign that the play fighting isn't really that serious. I highly recommend that if a play fighting session breaks down and becomes an actual fight with caterwauling, fur flying, and blood being drawn that you don't put your hands anywhere near where the two cats may accidentally attack your hand in anger. Although it sounds like your kitty is fairly vocal the fact that she continues to go back and play with her buddy in spite of being physically removed tells me that things aren't that serious. In terms of cats usually if they are spayed or neutered then they tend to be somewhat less aggressive and territorial. I am guessing that you decided to keep your kitty behind a closed door for about 2-3 weeks when you moved in so that the cats could get used to each other in the appropriate manner. I am not saying that every owner in this situation should step back and see what happens because dependant on the situation some cats (just like people) just don't like specific other cats. It sounds to me like the two cats in your joint household are having fun with each other. If you are really concerned about the amount of roughness and would like a more accurate opinion you can choose to enclose a video or post one on youtube and send me the link. Just based on the information that you have given I am not too concerned that this is genuine aggression, it sounds like good old rough and tumble play time between two cats that like each other's company. Please feel free to keep me up to date. I hope that you have found this information helpful. If you have any further questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me again.