introduction of kitten to 10 month old.

Question
Hello and Thank you for reading this.
My boyfriend and I have a 10 month old neutered male we got in January and we love him to death. Friday we brought home a new "friend" for him, a four month old neutered male. Things are not going well. We have kept the kitten in the bedroom a majority of the time, but have allowed them to have short meetings where they roam the house together. The first day or so wasnt bad. A little bit of hissing from our older boy, but mostly the cats just chased each other around the house which I assumed was playing. Since then my older boy has gotten increasly jealous. He cries if I go in the other room with the new cat, and then when I try to give him attention he just ignores me and walks away. The past few times I've let the cats free together our little one just wants to go exploring and could care less about the other cat, but the older one is  pouncing and biting on the baby every chance he gets. I know he's not hurting him, but it doesn't look pretty and the little one is having a hard time defending himself because my big boy is a little fat. My usually loving boy is pissed at us, and I feel like our new baby is being neglected because he has to stay in the bedroom so much and I'm starting to think the whole thing was a huge mistake. Any tips on how to make this any easier on both cats. I would hate to have to give the baby away, but I love my other cat too and I don't like seeing him so unhappy. Please help!!!

Answer
C,

You are on the right track.  Yes, cats do get jealous and there were things you may have been able to do at the beginning when the new kitten first came home.  At this point, now that the toothpaste is out of the tube, you are not going to be able to get it back in, so to speak.

So, there are a couple of things to keep in mind.  (1)  No human interference of any kind.  No separation. No discipline. Any human interference will be counter productive and will prolong their adjustment period.  (2) We mere humans do not understand how cats establish their relationships.  Whatever they are doing to and/or with each other, they should be left to their own devices.  No one is going to hurt the other.  Endure and ignore any hissing or spitting or posturing.  Pouncing is good.  Chasing is good even if it all ends up in a "fight".

So, to continue on, even if your boy rejects your advances to lavish extra attention, have you tried bribing him with extra special, tasty, and delicious treats?  Every time you play with the new kitten, bribe your established cat with something he really likes.  You may get him to think that maybe, just maybe this kitten may be a good thing.

So, in summary, I think you should leave them be and just let them come to terms with each other.  See if you can bribe your established male to get back in his good graces.  He may be jealous for good reason.  BTW this is not unlike what happens when a new baby comes home where there are established siblings.  The principles in dealing with these situations is the same.

Also, you need to give them more than a couple of days.  I would guess that in a couple of weeks they will have reached an understanding.  Things should calm down.  Except for jealousy, I would be careful about ascribing human motives and emotions to cats as they are not humans and do not think like we do.

Please let me know how it goes.

Best regards... Norm.