Two Cockatiels one friendly one not

Question
I have two Cockatiel's.  I've had them for 5 days and I'm reading everything I can about them.  The male is wonderful, loving, and very accepting of his new environment.  The female, however is his polar oppite.  She doesn't make a sound, she spends all her time grooming herself, to the point of bleeding.  She will not stop picking at her feathers.  I don't know if she's starting to molt or if she's nervous about her change in address.  She will not let me touch her or even attempt to move her to a higher perch.
I'm giving her a lot of space, but I don't know.  The male loves to be held and can sit on my shoulder for hours.  Should I just try to make her sit on my shoulder or force her to be held.  I don't want to traumatize her but I don't want to neglect her either.  She also
bites so hard she breaks skin.  I've been reading that you shouldn't pull your hand away, but she hurts and I'm out of band-aids.
On a side note, she's very loving to the male.  She "cuddles" up to him and grooms him, lets him groom her.  They rub up against eachother and "kiss".  I'm assuming this is a good sign.  Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
~Ashley~

Answer
Hi, Ashley.  Thanks for posting.

Several things you need to be aware of here.  Each parrot is different, that is, each parrot has it's own personality and you may have to deal with each of your tiels differently because their behavior will likely be different.  Five days may not be long enough for the female to have adjusted to the move...sounds like the male is fine!  Also, obviously, these 2 parrots are pair-bonded (beaking, preening, "cuddling") and since birds prefer other birds to humans, this is likely the issue with the female.  Single parrots in a home make the best pets for this reason.  She has her mate and doesn't need human companionship.  The male obviously enjoys human companionship, as well as his mate (difference in personalities).  Do you know if the female was more friendly in her last home?  How old are they?   

Don't force her to do anything.  You need to gain her trust and forcing her to do something will only make matters worse.  Honestly, as long as she has her mate, you might not be able to do much with her.  Most female tiels don't make much noise, other than to chirp, and parrots are supposed to spend a good majority of their time preening and grooming their feathers...their feathers are their lifeline so they need to spend much time every day caring for them.  However, not to the point of drawing blood, but this happens sometimes if she pulls out or otherwise damages a blood feather (which is a growing feather with the shaft still filled with blood).  Are you sure it isn't the male who might be overpreening the female?  This often happens with tiels...the male sometimes preens the female mate until she's bald on her head, neck, often her back.  Female parrots are supposed to bite hard...harder than males...because they guard the inside of nestboxes, i.e., eggs/babies.  In other words, if a predator were to gain access to the cage and get past the male, it would have to contend with the female!  Your female tiel probably doesn't look at your lack of interaction with her as neglect.  She likely prefers it because she has her mate!  

When you pull your hand away from a biting parrot, and I know first hand that it hurts, you are actually teaching it that if it bites you, you will leave it alone.  This is exactly the reaction they want from you...this is why a caged bird bites.  This is why you shouldn't pull away if at all possible...the need to retrain your tiel that biting gets her nowhere with you.    

Come back if you need to.

Chrys