bossy 8 month old filly

Question
Hi Denise.
I am very frustrated and can't help but take my filly's attitude very personally although I know that I should not.  She is my first baby and I imprinted her as soon as we got her into the stall with her mom; maybe 20 minutes old.  Her mom has had 10 babies including her, although she was new to me as well and I had only had her since she had been pregnant.  She was a VERY tolerant mom and let her get away with a lot.  I don't think I have ever seen her discipline.  The baby as a newborn hid quite a bit behind her mom whenever I went into the stall.  I think I was hoping for something different after imprinting her.  Eventually we worked through that and she became some what social.  She was walking on a lead line at 3 weeks.  I have put some serious time into this baby because this is my first and I wanted to do it right.  I gradually weaned her starting at 5 months old.  I placed her into the stall next to the mom and turned them out during the day in separate areas.  It has been this way for almost 3 months with only 2 incidences where they have gotten together.  The mom immediately lets her nurse with NO hesitation.  When I go into the stall with the baby, her immediate reaction is pinning her ears back.  I make her move away and I don't let her get away with it but I can't help but feel that she is going to have a really mean attitude and that this is who she will be as she matures.  There doesn't seem to really be any time when she doesn't pin her ears back within 30 seconds of petting her.  I have worked a great deal making sure that I walk away first and that when she pins her ears back, I send her away.  I am really worried though.  I have seen other foals that are sweet to be around.  I was hoping that this filly would be a horse that I would grow close to and raise but now I am wondering if she is just going to be a nasty mare that I never develop a bond with or even like.  One last concern is that I still have both the mom and baby on the property.  If I take the baby for a walk the mom screams for her a bit but not long.  If I do anything new with the baby, Kita immediately is concerned.  I am worried about how strong her bond still is and wonder if you think I should separate them much more; maybe bringing the baby to another location.  Will I ever be able to have them in the same area without having Quest still be Kita's 'baby'?  Will Quest ever become just another pasture mate?  Sorry so long winded.  I have been really worried about how to handle all of this for quite some time.
Thanks in advance so much.
Liane

Answer
Hi Liane!

You did a great job weaning!  Your filly is just not that old yet and there is still quite a bond between her and the mare.  Some horses are just like that.  Mares will have foals that they really like and some they just don't quite care for.  It just happens.  I would keep moving them apart and then for a while maybe on different farms.  I kept one of my old show mare's foals and he now lives back in the herd with everyone.  The mare knows him and likes him...no big deal.  Jet spent 8 months kicked out in about 100 acres with a donkey and an old gelding.  I brought him home to start him and tossed him out with his mom and the rest of the gang.  Pretty seamless.  

Your filly has had just a bit too much exposure to the human.  She is not convinced that you are a leader she can trust.  You have heard the old adage that familiarity breeds contempt, well, that is what is going on here.  With colts, really, less is more.  You just want to kick them out in a big pasture, ideally with more babies their own age and let them grow.  With the exception of a few little halter lessons and enough ground work to make vet and farrier care simple...leave them alone.  Then when the come in at two and a half, you can start them under saddle and they are mentally and physically ready.  Too much too soon and you get a cranky, sour horse.  

I would find a nice, safe, secure pasture with shelter for her to grow in.  It would be nice for her to have a colts her own age or a good, older teacher/leader for her to hang out with.  Resist the urge to keep doing so much with her.  Things are a bit off the tracks right now.  Time will fix what has gone wrong.  In the meantime, start watching everything you can about colt starting and ground work.  The DVD's by Buck Brannaman and Ray Hunt are just the best.  Attend a colt starting clinic and watch what is going on first hand.  Watch how these colts are started.  I would suggest watching Buck, Ricky and Ray if any and all are in your area.  It will only cost you about $20 bucks a day to watch and the education will be worth it's weight in gold for you and your horse.  You will also be able to find a network of great people to help you after Buck/Ricky/Ray are gone.  Also, you will see first hand all of the preparation needed to start a colt with real quality.  It is amazing how much most people miss and the lack of knowledge in most run of the mill "horse trainer" types.  Learn and know the difference between real quality and the stuff that will get you and your horse in trouble.  You have the time.  Start now!  

Liane, take a deep breath, and don't worry!  I can tell you love your horses and are trying to do the best by them.  You will make it!  It will be okay.  Watch the DVD's, attend the clinics, learn all you can, give your filly time to grow.  You will have the horse you have always wanted.  I'm here for help, support and guidance when you need it.  For now, enjoy the journey!

Smiles, Denise

Sorry about the knee!!!  Yikes!  I hope you recover quickly!  The good think about surgery is that you will have some time to watch really great DVD's (Buck's and Ray's)  and learn more about addressing the needs of your horse!  There is the silver lining!  Keep me posted on your progress.  I'm here for help when you need it!

Speedy healing!

Denise