Grieving

Question
Hi Patti,
Almost one year ago I had a beautiful 9 1/2 year old boxer boy who started fainting. I took him to the emergency vet and they diagnosed him with liquid around his heart and other internal issues and I made the decision that night with the vet to put him down. I held my boy as the doctor administered the med's and was put to sleep. I still to this day regret putting him down and cry almost every day over my decision.  The only option the doctor gave me was taking him to a cardiologist to drain the liquid from around his heart but she stated his quality of life and prognosis may give him an additional 3 to 6 months if that. My question is how does one get over this, or realize that it was the right decision?

Answer

Hi Vicki,

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your dog.

Pericardial disease (fluid around the heart) can be a life-threatening condition, your vet had more info than I have, and she obviously felt your dog's condition was grave.

What matters so much more than longevity, is a dog's quality of life. Your dog knew how much you loved him everyday of his life. When the heart wrenching decision needed to be made, you made it selflessly, thinking only of what was right to do for your dog. I completely understand what a hard decision it is to make, but I don't think you need to second-guess this. Second-guessing is natural, only because it was such a hard decision, but it sounds like you made the right choice.

You might find it helpful to speak to a live person who has been trained in grief support. Several of the veterinary teaching universities have toll-free help lines to help grieving pet owners:

Iams Pet Loss Support Center
Toll Free: 888-332-7738 (Monday-Saturday 8am-8pm)

Pet Loss Support Hotline hosted by the Iowa State University College of Veterinary Medicine. Operational seven days a week, 6pm to 9pm (CST) from Sept-April; Monday, Wednesday, Thursday from 6:00-9:00 pm (CST) from May-August. Call 888-478-7574  

University of Illinois veterinary students. Student volunteers are at the phone to answer calls on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings from 7-9 p.m. Central Time. Callers may leave a message any time, and calls will be returned at their next shift. 877-394-2273

Pet Loss Support Hotline at the University of California, Davis, School of Veterinary Medicine
Toll Free: 800- 565-1526


Thee are also pet loss chat rooms and forum online, such as these:

http://www.petlossmessageboard.com

http://www.griefhealing.com/help-lines-message-boards-chats.htm

http://aplb.org/chat/chat_petloss.php


All dogs are individuals, and while no other pet can be a substitute for the dog that you lost, opening your heart to another pet might be something to consider. Dogs add so much to our lives, if you enjoy having a dog, you shouldn't deprive yourself of that joy.

I hope I've been a help.

Patti