behavior problems

Question
QUESTION: My parents have a 5yr old poodle but he was my mums dog. She has recently passed away. I have moved back home to help dad as the dog will not warm to him and dad is getting very anxious.He will obey simple commands from him but wont sit with him or allow him to show any affection  (he is very affectionate with me) I think the dog senses dads anxiety. What can we do to help Chip become comfortable around him. Mum was a bit guilty of spoiling chip and didn't scald him when he barked or growled at dad.Any suggestions would be appreciated.

ANSWER: Hello John,
My condolences on your mother's passing.
It sounds like your father needs to start the bonding process over with Chip.
He will of course take over the feeding and taking Chip out to potty, those sort of things, but he might also try taking him for a walk, throwing the ball for him or just sitting on the floor and trying to coax Chip to come up to him.  

Have your dad sleep in an old tee-shirt for awhile to get his smell on it.  Then give it to Chip for him to have something with your Dads smell on it.  If Chip sleeps in a crate, put the shirt in there, or if he stays in a crate when your dad is out of the house, then leave the shirt with him then.  
Your dad and Chip might consider taking an Obedience class so that they can learn new things together.  Poodles love Obedience because they enjoy pleasing their owners, and working together will help them bond with each other.  

Another thing you can do is to show your dad how to do the Puppy Exam with Chip.
Start with Chip in your lap (on his back with his head towards your stomach).
Rub his tummy to help relax him.  Just do this part for awhile until he is comfortable with it.  Next, massage around his head and face, then work down to his legs.  Work gently and go slow.  To start off with, just do about 5 minutes of this, then build it up to what you and he are comfortable with.
This exercise will help build trust and will estabolish dominance because your head is higher than your dogs, and he has to trust you that you won't let anything hurt him.

Lastly, give Chip some time to greive along with you.  Even though you may not notice, he has lost someone also and dogs feel the loss just like people.  Give him some time, but don't let him get away with things that you would normally get on to him about.  

I hope this helps you some.  If you have other questions, please feel free to ask.

Thanks for using AllExperts.com,
Kim

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for your valued suggestions. We will try these strategies to see if we can help Chip bond with dad but I should mention that the dog has never liked men and growls and sometimes snaps at any male that comes into the house. Mum got Chip from the pound when he was 1 year old and we feel he might have been mistreated by a man and handed back to  the animal shelter unwanted. This might be the reason he is only comfortable around women. In 4 years dad has tried hard to have chip accept him, but with little success. I also have my 2 sons living with us at the moment and the dog will snarl and snap at them whenever they are near me(I think because I am a woman, chip wants to protect me)or when ever they try to approach him to show they mean no danger and want to be friends.I reprimand our pet whenever I catch him displaying this aggression.
Thank you
Fiona

Answer
Hello Fiona,
Yes, I was hoping that since you didn't say that Chip was growling and snapping at men in the first post that that wasn't the case.

Since your dad is the only person in the house (at least he will be) Chip is going to have to accept him or be lonely.  Its still best though if Chip accepts him before then.  
Your father trying to bond with Chip will be the best thing you can do.  Chip is going to have to turn his affection for women to your dad now if he wants attention.

Have him take Chip for a walk, feed him and do those everyday things.  Chip needs to see that these things will come from your father now.

Do the Puppy Exam by yourself for a couple of days, then have your dad sit with you while you perform it.  When Chip feels comfortable with your dad sitting with you, have him help a little bit.  Show him what to do and if Chip gets nasty, give him a correction.  Praise him when he is good for you.  Eventually, let your dad do the exam by himself with you sitting next to him.  

Go ahead and correct Chip for being snappish at your dad or your boys.  This isn't acceptable and shouldn't be allowed to continue.
Praise him if he is good though.  

I wish I had more to offer on this, but your dog is just going to take time to see if he will warm up now that your dad is his sole caretaker.

Try these things and if you have other questions for me, please feel free to ask.
Kim