understanding an adopted poodle

Question
Hello ! Thanks for being there to help folks like me.  

I recently adopted a 7lb. toy poodle, who is 6 years old.  We call her ANNIE.  The Vet called about 3 weeks after we had to send our 16yo Tibetan Spaniel to the Rainbow Bridge.  She had this little girl whose first Mom had a stroke and had to go to a nursing home, so we have had her almost 2 months.  We also have a Pekingese/Boston Terrier (Sophie) rescue (VERY ALPHA) who had been very badly treated before we got her, but she has never growled at anyone.  We have no reason to think that the Poodle had not been treated kindly, although my husband thinks she was spanked or smacked.  She just doesn't seem to be settling in, like other new dogs have done.  She won't cuddle, for one thing.  I know Poodles are very smart, and I have not had one before as an adult -- my mother had one when I was a young teenager almost 50 years ago, so I don't remember much about it.  I'm 63 now. They get along pretty well, except that the first dog goes at the poodle once in awhile to show her who is boss.  My question is this.  The poodle growls at me when I try to do certain things.  Important things, usually related to grooming.  Washing her face, cleaning eye boogies, even just brushing.  When I say growls, I mean full on, teeth showing, she looks you directly in the eyes, and gets close to my face.  So far, I have said a definitive NO, and put a magazine or something between our faces.  She soon stops when I do that.  Today she wanted to get up onto the couch, but when I went to pick her up, by the body, behind her arms (I don't pick a dog up using the arms, I am afraid they will get hurt that way.)  She growled at me when I did that, but did not growl at my husband when he picked her up by a hand under her chest, and the other under her seat.  We are usually sitting on the couch, where she has the middle seat, with a pillow she likes on it.  This is her "sit with Mom so I don't have to worry about Sophie" seat.  She has only growled at my husband once, (quickly) when she did not want to be shifted on his lap.  I think that she is just not assimilating into our household as quickly as other dogs have.  We have been married 21 years, and have had between 2 and 4 dogs all of that time.  I have had Tibbies (3) Pekes (2), 1 Daschund, and from now on, all will be rescues.   I want to avoid her biting me.  My husband has really bonded with her, but will not put up with biting.  She seemed baffled by him at first -- we don't think she had been around men before.

The only other thing that we are having a minor problem with is she will go behind the sofa and wet once in awhile. Tile floor, so it isn't AWFUL. I have just put a bell on the door and jingle it every time I take them outside so she will have a signal.  Neither dog has figured it out yet.  We live in rural Arizona, so cannot have a "doggy door" even if I wanted one.  We CANNOT let them out unsupervised --coyotes, hawks, owls,etc.  Other than that, she has been perfectly house broken, and she never did it until the last 2 weeks.  One of the Pekes had been raised in a high rise, using papers, and since she "overlapped" with Sophie, and Sophie figured out that it was OK to use the papers, I didn't think it was fair to take them away.  They are left in the laundry room, easily accessible, but Annie has never used the paper.  I use white vinegar to clean up, but just today, tried an odor  killer made for dog accidents.    

Thanks for your help, and thanks for listening.

Judy

Answer
Hello Judy,
It sounds to me like Annie sees your husband as the dominate member of the household, but you not as much.  Your husband can pick her up, and do stuff with her, but not you because she has accepted him as dominate.  You are going to have to dominate her and let her know that you are also her boss.  
If she tries to growl at you, you need to hold her down on the floor and make her submit to you.  By growling at you, she is telling you that SHE is your boss, not the other way around, and that she doesn't like what you are telling her.  You always need to be your dogs boss because in a dogs mind a dog can either be boss or have a boss.  They do not know anything in-between.  If you don't establish to your dog that you are her boss, then she will just assume that she is your boss.  This may not sound important, and many dog owners never have a conflict with their dogs (even though their dogs are the boss of their family) but your dog may start demanding to be fed, let out, or may get snappy or bitey when you want to pick her up or take her for a walk and she doesn't want to go.  Some dogs will even start marking in their owners house because they are trying to tell the owner that its THEIR house, not your house.  
You need to hold your dog down on the floor with her head down, until she will relax and lay still.  She CANNOT be allowed to growl at you or attempt to bite you.  You need to stare her in the face until she will look away and you need to be firm about it.  If she tries to bite, you need to just let her bite you (you can wear gloves or some other kind of protection if you need to) until she realizes that the biting won't affect you.  If she thinks that growling or biting you will scare you off, then she will know that she has something over you and she will only get worse.
You can also do the "Doggie Exam" with her to help her understand that you are dominate over her and to help build a better relationship with her.  It shows her that you are dominate over her  in a non-aggressive way because your head is over hers and she is on her back in the submissive position.  It also builds Trust because she IS in a very submissive position and she has to trust that you won't let anything hurt her while she is with you.  It also is a good time to build a relationship with her because this is just some relaxing one-on-one time between her and you.  

Start with you sitting on the floor or couch with her laying in your lap on her back with her head towards your stomach.  At first, get her to lay still by rubbing her belly and talking to her (just don't let her up).  Next, you can start to examine her head.  Look in her ears, eyes, and in her mouth.  Praise and pet her if she will let you look at her.  Next you can look at her coat, skin and start to familiarize yourself with how her bones feel. (this is also good if anything ever were to happen to her, you would know if something didn't feel right)
Next, play with and mess with her feet and toes.  Go in-between her pads and toes with your fingers to check for mud or rocks, and gently put pressure on and click on her toenails to get her used to having her feet messed with. (really good for getting her used to having her nails clipped and/or shaved).  Finally, go over the rear end of her body.  Check the skin and coat for fleas or ticks, small cuts/bruises and for seeds, stems or leaves.
After she gets used to the Doggie Exam, you can do the exam part once a week and just pet her and get her to relax with you for the other days.  You can even drop it back to every other day once she is more comfortable with it.  Though I do have to say that with my boys, if I am sitting on the floor, they put themselves in my lap because they really enjoy the belly rubs and the time with me.

When she potties on the floor and you catch her, you can dominate her by laying her on the floor.  I can almost guarntee that she isn't going potty there because she can't hold it.  She is trying to mark your house in an area where you can't get to it as well.  You should only have to dominate her a couple times before it will click that you don't want her marking in YOUR house.  If this sounds mean or rough, it isn't.  It is the way that dogs tell other dogs they are boss and in charge.  A dominate dog will get another dog down when it does something that the boss dog doesn't like and the submissive dog will lay still to let the dominate dog know that the message was received.  YOU are the dominate "dog" in your household and you have to get this dog to understand.  Its not mean or harsh to your dog, it is simply you speaking in a language that your dog understands.  You are not hitting your dog or shouting at her, just making her realize that this is YOUR house and YOUR rules.    
You might try having her sit at the door and then touch her nose to the bell everytime you take her out.  That way there is 2 signals rather than them just using the bell.  When you take them potty, use the words "Lets Go Potty Outside" and take them to the same door everytime and have them sit, then have them touch the bell with their nose (you can smear a dot of peanut butter or canned food to the bell to encourage them to touch it), then praise them and give a treat and take them outside.  Do this only when you are taking them out to potty.  Then praise them again when they potty outside.  

Give this a try and see how she responds.  If you have other questions about this, or need more advice, please feel free to ask me.  

Thanks for using AllExperts.com,
Kim