owner dog conflict

Question
We have a 9 mo lab that we have had about 2 1/2 months. In the families is myself, husband, 2 yr. old son and 2 cats.She has bit me once and nipped at me 2 other times, but is fine with my husband and had been fine around my son.  We took her to a dog specialist, who observed all of us together.  Her opinion was that she and I bascially had a personality conflict b/c she was a total different dog with my husband.  I am new to dog ownership and her assessments seems likely.  However, her advise was to either find the dog another home or plan to live with the personality conflict for 10-14 yr.  Do you have any advise on this or know of resources for dog owner relationship repair?  I have to keep my son safe and myself, but am having a hard time letting her go.

Answer
I am sorry you encountered such a useless person claiming to be a dog specialist.  Unfortunately they are quite common.  Yes, you do have a personality conflict.  It is up to her to submit to you, the dog, not the specialist.  

Having a good pack structure reduces such problems.  The dogs see all the
people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in
the pack and a top dog.  The ranking is very gender specific.  Go to a dog obedience show and you may see women with a shirt which says ''I am top bitch.''  They aren't being nasty, it is just a humorous way of expressing the idea their dogs are properly trained.  Either you or her are going to be top bitch in your house.  That is why she is different with your husband and son, they are males, to cooperate with.  Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones.  You can learn to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. Start at http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/

In addition to the standard obedience stuff, do all the top dog stuff.  You go through a door way first, she moves out of your way, she sits before you feed her, and above all, she sleeps somewhere other than in bed with you.  

A top dog does not put up with biting by a lower status one.  Give a warning
stern "Bad Dog!".  In
stubborn cases, I repeat the "Bad dog!" right in its face with the dog on its
back. Hold it down until it lifts one back leg to show submission.  Use one
forearm under her jaw to keep her teeth away from your face.  If you can't do that, try the squirt
bottle.  Fill it with water and a little vinegar or lemon juice.  Give it a
squirt in the face as soon as it misbehaves.  Dogs hate that.  The solution to a stubborn dog is an owner that is even more stubborn.  Every time she snaps or growls, she immediately gets which ever bad consequence works best for you.
Don't forget the praise and petting when she finally yields.