very unfriendly cat

Question
i happen to have the most unfriendly female cat on the earth! we used to have a boy cat who she used to protect but ever since he has died, she has gotten worse and worse. she used to be the boss cat in the area and has since become afraid to go outside and insists on a litter tray. she won't be cuddled, petted, brushed, yet she always comes and sits on my paperwork when i am working but as soon as i pet her or pick her up she becomes very distressed. she steals my socks all the time, and if i leave any food unattended, even a pack of crisps she has devoured them! is there anyway to tame this wild cat? thanks for your help

Answer
Abi,

Have you had your cat to the vet?  It almost sounds as if she is in pain.  When a cat has had a major change in behavior as you seem to be describing, it is more often than not a medical issue. The part about being distressed when you pick her up is a major clue!

I would do that first, and, if she gets a clean bill of health, I would look for behavioral issues.  E.g., there may be a new cat who has moved into the area who has become the "alpha" cat.

As far as taming and friendliness is concerned, when we are faced with a cat who appears to wanting to be a recluse, we ignore this cat except to feed, water, and change the litter pans.  We do not approach the cat, in fact we even pretend the cat does not exist, unless the cat comes up for petting, and then, and only then, do we interact.  Let the cat decide to come out on her own terms.  Do not approach or pursue her.

I will be very happy to answer any follow up questions.

Best regards... Norm.