A cockatiel turned aggressive

Question
Hi Cynthia:

I think I have created a big problem with my cockatiel George. I've had George for almost 4 years now, he is hand fed and very tame. I was his number one companion for the first 2 years of his life and then I met my husband Trevor.

Trevor and I have gone on a few vacations together and have left George with either my parents or friends who have experience with birds. We've noticed that every time he comes back from my parents place he tends to be more aggressive. At the moment he favours Trevor (completely adores him) and seems to be scared of me. He was with my parents for about a month and a bit this last time and we've had him home now for about 3 weeks. Now that he is home he has been very aggressive.  He often lunges and bites very hard and often comes after us to bite us.  He mostly does this to me, but has in the last week bitten my husband on the lip - hard enough to draw blood.

I was uncertain how to deal with George's new found aggression and didn't know what to do. I found the only way to snap him out of his aggressive state (running at us) was to brush him aside with the backside of my hand (not hard). But I've come to realize after reading some articles that this is likely just escalating the problem.  I think we are in a bit of a cycle now and I'm not sure how to break it.  

I've stopped brushing him aside and have now just let him bite me.

The other thing my husband and I were wondering is if sexual behavior can increase aggression. This sounds kind of funny, but George likes to 'hump' Trevor's toe. I think this is part of the reason he prefers Trevor, but I also wonder if this is increasing his aggression towards me. Should we not let him 'hump'? I don't know quite how to turn this around - I want our nice tame George back!  I think he's unhappy and I want to rectify that.  Help!

Answer
Rachel,

It sounds like you have answered your own question.  George has probably developed a bond so strong with Trevor that he now bites you because you are close to his "mate," and he bites Trevor because he is warning him to stay away from you.

You need to keep George in his cage, not let him "hump" Trevor's toes, and lessen the amount of light that reaches his cage to about 12 hours or less per day.

Good luck,

Cindy