Spoiled MAre

Question
We bought a 3 year old mare. She was a great horse for a couple weeks ,but now she won't come to me, see is nipping at me ,and now see puts her ears back ,and turn her back on me. What should I do with my spoiled girl? I think the problem is me. but i really want my gentle horse back!

Answer
Hi Rick!

A three year old is just a baby and she is new to you.  What she is doing is finding her place in the herd and guess what...she is more dominate than you!  Woops!

Time to earn your respect and establish yourself as the leader of your little herd or the pinned ears and nipping will develop into full on biting and kicking as she puts you in your place!

I am always so impressed with people and how right on their instincts are!  You are right on the money when you say the problem is you.  Here is how to set things right:

First of all, don't get angry.  It is not her fault or yours.  You were both doing what you thought was right.  Now is the time for business.  Her job is to find out that you are the leader, teacher and boss of this outfit, period.  I want you to have a very business like attitude around her.  It will take about a year for your relationship to become solid and for her to really trust you, so plan on being patient.   I don't want her dominate behavior to escalate any further.  You have to take care of what happens BEFORE what happens, happens.  That is to say be aware of her body language and what she is telling you.  Pinned ears is her way of moving you.  If you don't listen to the pinned ears, next is a nip, then a bite, then a kick!  She has to turn her tail toward you to prepare to kick you.  If you notice horses in a pasture, if one turns tail toward another to shape up to kick the other horse, if it is at all aware, is MOVING fast before the kick happens.  Now that you are aware of her body language, lets get some changes!

Get a good rope halter with a 12' tree line lead.  These both have a good weight and feel and allow you to have accurate control both on the horse and in your hand.  Get accurate with spinning the tail end of the lead overhand.  Be able to spin the lead over hand and hit a target accurately, like a rock on the ground or whatever, just get good at it.  This way you can "Nip" your mare and have the nip be exactly where you need it to be.  When you step into the stall or pen with your mare she needs to approach you with R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!  This means no pinned ears, nipping, or a threat to kick.  If she approaches you with pinned ears send her away!  Do what it takes to send her off.  This may be as little as slapping you leg to make a loud and abrupt noise or as much as a nip with the end of your lead rope.  Only do what it takes to send her off and no more.  If she comes up and is sweet and kind, rub her, groom her and make it feel good to her.  If she becomes disrespectful again, and she will, send her off, put her to work, send her out at a good brisk trot in your round pen and keep her working until she changes her mind about getting with you in a respectful manner.  You will want to go back through my archives and look at answers having to do with colt starting, hooking on.  Also, the DVD on Ground Work by Buck Brannaman and Ray Hunt will save your life!  Buy them, rent them find a friend that has them, just watch them, they are really important and you will be better able to see what I'm trying to explain here.  Keep up this pattern of watching for respect and sending her out to work.

Keep this pattern up until she starts looking at you as a leader she can trust.  Your mare is only doing what she thinks she needs to do to survive!  She is honest.  I would not allow her to ever turn her tail toward you as a threat.  There will come a time when you will spend a lot of time behind her changing eyes and picking up her hind feet, roping up her hind feet so you will need to trust her and know her body language well enough to know that she is not shaping up to kick you.  This will just take time and experience.  

Never punish your horse.  If you have gotten bitten, kicked or run over, it is too late.  You missed all the warning signs that something bad was about to happen.  You have to take care of the problem as the horse is shaping up to bite or kick or bolt not after.  After it happens you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, hope you didn't get hurt too bad and try and make things better.  If you punish a horse after the fact it destroys trust, respect and faith.  It will set up a war that both of you will lose.  Trust me on this.  This is straight from Ray Hunt the master himself.  

Be a leader.  Be trustworthy and kind but don't take any disrespect.  Fix things up for success and always be two steps ahead of your horse.  You will have a nice mare again, and maybe even the best horse of your life!

Keep me posted.  If I have used terms or concepts you do not quite understand, please let me know and I will clarify!

Happy New Year!  Smiles, Denise