my legs get sore and nothing to hold on to

Question
when i ride my legs get really tried and sore.
my friends horse sometimes goes a little crazy and he runs off and i have nothing to hold on to because his saddle has nothing on the front of it to hold on to and the saddle im used to has a lump on the top and the saddle i use now gose in and im scared im going to fall off because i tried to hold onto his mane and i sliped so please dont tell me to hold onto him mane.

Answer
Hi Kiara,

I'm sorry to hear you are having such trouble riding.  You don't mention if the saddle you are using is a western or english saddle, so that makes things a bit more difficult for me, but from the sounds of it, I'm going to assume it is english and give you some advice from there.  If I am wrong, please let me know and I will do my best to help you from a western point of view !

First off, it sounds as though you may have a bit of a balance issue when riding.  If you don't ride very frequently, then your muscles in your legs don't get used to being used like that and they do become very sore and tired quickly.  The muscles you use for riding are not muscles you use in everyday activities and are difficult to develop in any way but riding unfortunately.  It takes a while to really get them developed, so don't be discouraged, it will come.  Also, your stomach muscles need to be really strong to hold your body in good position on a horse.  Sit ups and pull ups are a great thing to do to build those up.

Because you don't have that strength yet, your balance is going to be off.  THe way most people react when they are scared and feel like they are going to fall off, is they bring their knees up, look down, and lean forward.  That gets you even more unbalanced and scared making the situation worse until you eventually fall off.  You have to train your body to react differently (and trust me it takes time !  As long as I've done this, I still catch myself doing that sometimes ! ) but you have to remind yourself to "ride tall".  You want to roll your shoulders back, think of literally sinking into the saddle, and don't grip with your knees, instead let all the weight go into your heels which will provide great stability for you.  It will feel weird at first thinking don't grip, but your balance is in your seat, not in gripping with your knees.  Gripping is telling the horse to go faster, and he gets nervous, going faster, your body draws up more, and the more unstable you become in the saddle.  Most of all LOOK UP !  Look where you want to go.  If you look down, you will end up there.  I cannot tell you how many times I have saved myself from falling off, simply by looking up.  Ended up in some pretty funny positions on a horse, but stayed on which is the goal !  

Now, here is how you can help build up your balance, and this is how I was started, how I start every new rider I deal with, it is how the spanish riding school begins their riders, as do many of the great german riders, so it works excellent !  I begin by using a horse which has very steady gaits (I really like a nice trot that you could just sit there and count and sounds comforting) not quick, but not lazy either.  He should be willing to go forward when asked, but not trying to run off with you.  

I begin with putting the horse in full tack and side reins so that he maintains a steady head position and that is not a worry of the rider.  (Note get the horse used to side reins before using them with a rider - the contact should be steady when the horse gives, but not pulling the horse's head in) It also helps keep the horse in a steady gait to help the rider gain confidence.  I then take a piece of either hay string or you can purchase a small piece of leather to have placed on the front of your saddle.  Run it through the D rings on the front of the saddle.  This will be your "handle" so to speak.  I then put the horse on a longe line and allow the rider to mount.  The rider does not have access to the reins (I don't want them messing with the horse's head at this point) or stirrups (as I am trying to develop the rider's muscles).  I put the horse on the longe so I can control his speed and movement despite what the rider does on him.

I start my riders at the walk encouraging them to stretch their legs down long reaching for the ground.  I'll even allow them to point their toes down to encourage the stretch.  Then I begin simple exercises at the walk with the rider.  I'll have them reach forward touching the horse's ears, lean back and touch the tail, down to touch their toes, arms out to the side, above their head, on their head, put one hand on their stomach, one on their back.  Basically a game of simon says on a horse.  This is all done at the walk initially to teach the rider to develop their seat and allow them feel independent.  As the rider gets more confident and stable on the horse, I move up to doing the same things at the trot, and eventually the canter.  If you start feeling unstable, just grab the hay string tied to the front of your saddle.  If you still feel unstable, back down to the previous gait and regain your confidence, then you can go back up.  I can't tell you how long it will take because each person is different, but usually around six weeks (if riding daily) will have them progressing from walk to canter.  Some take longer, some take shorter time.  Just depends on the person.  It may be a great thing for your friend and you to do together and improve both of your riding skills.  

The biggest thing to remember is just to set small goals to work towards.  If your friend's horse doesn't seem to be acceptable to work with this, then speak to some of the local riding schools.  Many are willing to exchange lessons for mucking stalls and will even let you ride extra horses when available.  It's a great learning experience and how I started.  You learn much about horse care in general.  Good luck and I hope this helps you !  Happy riding !