Leib and Sarah

Question
QUESTION: I have a question to ask you, but a lot of background is necessary.  Just to let you know right away, my question is going to be, why did my male lop rabbit, named Leib (rhymes with Babe), die earlier this year?

Let me describe some of his behaviors.  Throughout the too short time that I knew Leib, when I would place him on my desk, with his head facing the edge of my desk, he would respond by turning himself completely around, supposedly because being up that high scared him.  But the last few times I tried that with him, he no longer did that, until I kind of gently encouraged him along.

And when I would hold him against my chest, he used to dig right into me, leaning his cute little head against my chest.  And when he got really comfortable, he would put his head on the left side of my chest, supposedly to be nearer to my heartbeat, which I guess he found comforting.  However, the last few times I held him, he did not do this on his own, until I gently helped him along.  And on the night before he died, he clung to me chest super strong, as if he was terrified of letting go.  I was not sure what was going on, telling him that there would be other nights for me to hold him, but I had to get to sleep.  Little did I know that he knew better than me about all that; he evidently knew it would be his last night on Earth.  

Normally, when I would feed my rabbits in the morning, Leib would excitedly hop toward the food, just like my other rabbits did.  However, the day before he died, it took him several minutes to do so.  And on the fateful morning when he died, he did not come out of his hiding place at all.  

Not knowing what was going on, I dragged him out of his hiding place, and tried to hold him.  But as gentle as his nature was, he could not even cling to me anymore.  And when I put him on my desk, he was gasping for air.  I could even hear him try to vocalize.  I was so ignorant back then, yet even I knew that this meant danger.

I brought him to a vet within twenty minutes.  They told me to call midday just to check up on things.  Normally I am a worry-wart, but on that morning, I figured he would be okay, that it was something easily curable.  In fact, at that point, I was not even sure it was necessary to bring him to the vet at all!  But when I called them some hours later, I was informed that my dear, sweet little Leib had died.

I will not go into describing the deep sadness I felt, as you are a doctor and so I better keep this at a scientific level.  But I wonder why Leib died.  The vet did a rabbit autopsy, and said that Leib's intestines were all twisted up, which caused his organs to shut down one by one, until the poor sweet thing had a fatal heart attack.  But when I told this to real rabbit experts, they gave me a quizzical look of puzzlement, saying that that evaluation makes no sense.

I will say that back then, I was extremely ignorant about taking care of rabbits.  I had given them too many treats, bananas, and pellets (a low fiber kind, no less!), not enough parsley, and not nearly enough hay.  I did not realize how central their diet is to their health, and how all important giving them a lot of hay is.

Also, Leib had this habit of choking.  I do not know how else to describe it, but he would once in a while go into these fits like he was choking.  It worried me not as much as it should have, because he had done this since I had known him, and he always came out of it after just a minute or two.  Still, I have to wonder if that is a factor in leading up to his premature death.

Also, the vet I took him to, was NOT a rabbit specialist, but again, I was too ignorant at the time to not realize that most vets know next to nothing about proper rabbit care.  I have of course since then made a list of good, local, rabbit doctor specialists.  To this day, I wonder if Leib would have lived, had I brought him to a real rabbit doctor such as yourself, and not a vet pretending to know what he was doing.

So given what I have said, why do you think Leib died?  His death haunts me to this day; I can never forgive myself for what happened to him.  Leib was the sweetest angel I have ever known.  :-(

ANSWER: Dear Raymond,

I am very sorry about the loss of your dear friend, Lieb.  

The "twisted intestines" thing doesn't make sense to me, either, but I don't have the full report.  An intestinal torsion would usually present with bloating and severe pain.  It's not impossible.  But I'd need to know more details of the necropsy:  were areas of his intestine necrotic (dead) because of lack of blood flow?  This isn't impossible, though intestinal torsions are not very common in rabbits.

The choking you describe could have been caused by dental problems such as molar spurs:

www.bio.miami.edu/hare/dental.html

but may not be related to his death.  If he was acting relatively normal up until the time he was very ill that fateful morning, this is consistent with per-acute onset of a condition such as an intestinal torsion.  Since this is what the vet found on necropsy, I think that's really all we have to go on.  Something like that would be pretty obvious, even on gross necropsy (i.e., just a look at the organs with visual inspection; no tissue samples for histopathology), and we will have to take the vet's word for it that this was the cause of death.

If it really was an intestinal torsion, there is absolutely nothing you could have done for Lieb.  This was some accident of his morphology, in all likelihood.  A sort of "time bomb" waiting to go off.  

Though his life was too short, I am glad he could spend it with such a loving "dad" who appreciated his gentle, sweet nature, and who will keep him alive in memory forever.

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Dana

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for your answer.  Your words literally made me cry, not because they were not helpful, of course, but because it brought back memories of my sweet little Leib, plus I feel so terrible that he suffered so much.  

I realize you are a rabbit expert and not a psychologist, but you are still a human being with feelings, plus I am sure you have had sad experiences involving rabbits yourself, so maybe you can understand where I am coming from.  

Leib was the sweetest living being I have ever known, the best friend I ever had.  Most rabbits understandably run away from me or any other human, as their instincts rightfully tell them that most of us humans are a danger.  But not Leib.  He would just stand there looking at me, almost asking me to please hold him, and I would.  And when I did, he would dig deep into my chest, and lean his adorable little head against my face.  He was so self-effacing, too; he could be in the middle of eating, but if my more aggressive rabbits would try to push through to get to the food, Leib would modestly give way to them.  And when I had acquired a fifth rabbit who ended up dying within one day (a whole story in itself), while two of my other rabbits were chasing the poor thing around, unbeknown to me trying to chase him out of my apartment, Leib went right up to him and licked him affectionately, as if to tell the new rabbit how happy he was to have him there.  And when people at work or elsewhere are just so coldhearted and downright cruel to me, I knew I could come home, and there Leib would be, letting me hug and and hold him in comfort.  I literally used to cry over his shoulder...and he was a rabbit!  I could go on and on, but the point is, Leib was a very, very special rabbit, so good, so pure, so angelic, that I have often considered the possibility that he was no rabbit at all, but an angel only disguising himself as a rabbit.

Back to a more scientific mode, so are you saying that my feeding my rabbits the wrong proportions of food most likely did NOT cause Leib to die?  Because all these months I have had an extremely heavy burden of guilt on my shoulders, ironically contemplating how I had inadvertently killed the very rabbit I loved so dearly.  I even considered the possibility that had I simply fed him a different, higher-fiber type of pellets, that he would still be alive today.

ANSWER: Dear Raymond,

Your description of dear Lieb got me all choked up.  Yes, I know very well how horrible it is to lose someone so dear.  Most people don't understand that a rabbit can be as intelligent, sensitive, and have as complex a personality as any human.  And no, I don't think he was an angel.  He was a rabbit, and that is angel enough.  They are the most wonderful, complex, grounded, fantastic animals in the universe.

Your Lieb was one of those "once in a lifetime" bunnies.  You may never see one like him again.  But I do have to tell you that there *are* other bunnies out there as wonderful as Lieb.  They will not be him, but they are as gentle and incredible in their own way.  I have been fortunate enough to have several of them pass through my life, and when they die they take a piece of my heart with them.  But I try to tell myself that each rabbit has his own lifetime journey, and I'm only the body guard.  There is only so much we can do.

The causes of intestinal torsion are unknown.  But I've known  many, many rabbits who have been given atrocious diets who never develop this problem.  It is very rare, and I suspect there were multiple factors involved, and none of them your fault nor under your control.  Sometimes these things happen with such terrible unfairness, and we automatically seek to blame ourselves, since there's no other place to point or understand WHY.

But please don't blame yourself for this.  Really.  I do not think anything you did could have caused a problem like this.  

And believe me, I am no stranger to the Blame Myself Syndrome.  It happens to all of us who lose a beloved rabbit friend like this.  It's just not realistic, and it just slows your healing.

I would suggest maybe you become involved with your local rabbit rescue group.  If another Old Soul like Leib comes along, you might recognize him/her and be able to find a friend who will never replace Lieb, but who might be able to comfort your soul.  We keep going because there are so many other rabbits who need us, and sometimes we are rewarded with someone like Lieb.

I never thought I could love again after my Obie died, and then Nuli.  They were my soulmates.  But eventually I met others who were just as wonderful in their own way.  The ones who look at you with such AWARENESS and understanding that it's almost spooky.  We have one like that now:  Rusty.  I don't know how many times he has been reincarnated, but I think he must be the Dalai Lama of Rabbits.  :)

Keep looking for signs.  A soul as big as Leib's will not leave you forever.

I am sending many healing thoughts to you.

Take care,

Dana

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for such a such a sweet and beautiful answer.  I do not know about you, but as for me, rabbits have softened me up, taught me what it really means to be attentive to somebody else's needs, to be kind and compassionate.  I still have a long way to go on this, but the more I take care of my rabbits, the better it will be for my soul.

Leib was indeed an old soul.  What a perfect way to describe him, thank you for that.  In fact, this may sound very strange, but Leib often reminded me of my father: the look in his eyes, his self-effacing nature, his shy yet lovable nature...I unfortunately did not pay my father proper respect while he was still alive, and have lived with that guilt ever since.  So sometimes I have wondered if Leib was a reincarnation of my father, as if I was being given a second chance to treat my father with the tenderness and kindness that he deserved.  So imagine how awful I have been feeling, not only that I thought I caused Leib to die, but that I failed even in my second attempt to be kind to my father.

Leib just so special, to me the kindest living being I have ever known.  Usually I am quite a melancholy, lonely person, but when I would hold Leib, all that sadness would quickly melt away; I no longer felt empty inside; I felt completely fulfilled, as if I did not need anything else in this world to feel truly happy and content.

There are so many other ways that Leib was very special to me, which is one of the reasons why it took me a day or two to respond to you this time.  I kept trying to figure out the perfect way to convey Leib's magic.  I finally realized that no words I say, can adequately capture just how special he was.

It is somewhat of a relief to know that maybe I did not cause Leib to die after all.  The other day I heard a horrific story how some ignoramous was giving his rabbits dog and cat food.  How those rabbits survived before being discovered, is beyond me.  Maybe I can take some comfort in knowing that even in my most ignorant days regarding proper rabbit care, that I never did such a terrible thing.  In fact, I basically gave my rabbits all the right foods; my mistake was giving them their food in the wrong proportions, and giving them the wrong kind of rabbit pellets.  I really think there should be an unwritten rule that before somebody takes on the care of rabbits, that the person should be given an education on at least the basics of rabbit care.  Rabbits are very fragile and high maintenance; their care should not be treated lightly.

I do want to tell you about the deaths of two of my other rabbits, but I think I will hold off for now, because I want to somewhat balance out the sadness of the Leib episode, with a positive one regarding my newest rabbit, an adorable little female dwarf whom I named Sarah.

One day I was driving on a street I do not normally drive on, on that day.  I passed by a handwritten sign indicating a pet sale.  I almost did not make a turn, but soon found myself in the pet store, asking if they had any pet rabbits for sale.  The owner said that really the pet sale was only of dogs and cats.  However, it just so happened that somebody had left a little female dwarf rabbit in front of the store before it had opened.  Poor little Sarah was in a tiny cage, with no food at all except a tiny bit of pellets (probably the wrong kind!), and some water.  Absolutely no note was attached; whoever had left it, left no evidence for who he or she was or why Sarah was left there.

Sarah was emaciated when I first saw her.  She was so skinny, that I could easily see her spine from the back.  She was not moving at all, probably terrified, and hungry, and undoubtedly feeling so lonely.  Frankly, I was scared to take her in.  Three of my previous five rabbits dying, I did not exactly have a good track record with rabbits.  I was afraid Sarah might die on me, or that she carried diseases.  So I hesitated, and the owner said to think about it overnight.

Well, as you might expect from me by now, there was no way could I turn away little Sarah.  I was relieved when I came back the next day, and discovered nobody else had adopted that little cutie.  The owner gave me Sarah for no cost whatsoever, and I immediately took her to the rabbit shelter I had become acquainted with, shortly after Leib had died.

They groomed her, and discovered that one toe from her back left foot had been removed, as well as her toe nails from that same foot.  I was horrified, but they assured me that it was now all healed up, and that she would be fine.

When I first brought her home, this is going to sound mean, but i thought her face looked ugly!  It was all misshapen, and she had a dark red spot right in the middle of her little face.  Still, I adore rabbits, and so I thought even her ugly face made her that much cuter.

And how is she now?  Sarah is BEAUTIFUL!  Her face is no longer contorted, no more dark red spot; not only can I no longer see her spine, but she is so well-fed that some might even say that she can stand to lose a pound or two.  No longer is she scared or sitting cowering in the corner; now she jumps (hops) around her cage, and seems to love it when I hold her.  She pushes her cute little head against my neck, puts each of her paws on each of two of my fingers, and is just the cutest thing on Earth!  She especially seems to love it when I gently pet her little head.  And she is the first of my rabbits that I have kissed.  She just seems to invite me to kiss the top of her head, it is just so very adorable.

So Sarah is my big success story; she is living out the benefits of the knowledge I have gained about rabbit care, ever since Leib died.  Then I think about Leib, how he was so appreciative of anything I did for him, even when I did things wrong; how happy he would have been, to have benefited from my new knowledge the way Sarah and my other two rabbits are now enjoying.  Rest in peace, sweet little Leib.  uh oh, I feel tears forming in my eyes.  I better go for now.

Answer
Hi, Raymond

I am so happy to hear about little Sarah.  It seems that needy rabbits know they need to come to you and you'll have a lifelong symbiosis of love.  :)  I know how rewarding it is to rescue someone like that.  Have a look at our little Penelope, before and after:

www.bio.miami.edu/hare/igive.html

She's only one of so many who have come in looking like little monsters and gone to their new homes looking like princesses.  :)

Welcome to the wonderful world of rabbit rescue.  It seems you're hooked!

*****

Thank you for sharing your stories about Leib.

You know...you might be interested in joining EtherBun:

www.bio.miami.edu/hare/etherbun.html

It's a free listserve of more than 6000 people who love rabbits as much as you do.  They can help with all kinds of problems, and would probably love to hear about Leib and Sarah.

Take care, and may 2011 bring you and your furbabies much health, happiness and love!

Dana