Dog Training But Never Home

Question
I am not home enough. I work full-time, go to school and have other obligations. So I can be away from my house for sometimes 16 hours at a time. I live alone with my two 1 1/2 year old dogs (a Yorkie and Toy Poodle). I have two dogs at home so they can play and have company during the day, but I have run into some issues that are making me crazy.

1. My dogs were doing ok (never great) at going to the bathroom in their yard, but lately they have been peeing and pooping in the house. They do this at my parents house as well even though there are two dogs that go outside there. I have tried using a pee pad, which works ok for the pee, but I really want them to know they are to go outside. I am embarrassed and nervous to take them anywhere for fear that they will go to the bathroom indoors. When I am home, they generally go outside, except in the morning when I am getting ready for work. Then they will only go outside if I physically take them downstairs and stand outside with them. Even then, they often still poop inside.

2. They tend to tear up the throw pillows and slipcover on the loveseat when I am not home. The Poodle even eats the wall. While this has gotten better, it is definitely not good. They have a ton of toys and I have even purchased them Nylabones with flavor. However, they continue to tear things up. I need to get some new furniture, but I don't want to do that if they are just going to destroy it.

3. Finally, they don't always come when called. I want to make sure that if they go in the front yard I can keep them in the yard or they will come immediately. I am always so nervous they are going to run off and get hit by a car.

Any help would be sincerely appreciated! I have trouble with traditional training because I am just not home enough to follow through. They travel between three houses (mine is the main house) and so they just need to know to go outside.

Answer
Unfortunately, if you can't train or follow through, your problems will persist.  But, you don't have to go to class to get training help.  There's a good book by Pat Miller, called "The Power of Positive Training", that will take you step by step through the process.  As to the house training issue, a little booklet by Patricia McConnell, "Way to Go" will help if you can take the time to follow her suggestions. It's inexpensive and not a time consuming read.
Dogs don't know where to go unless they are shown, so the way to house train IS to stand there with them till they go, then praise them, and prevent them from having access to the house when you can't supervise them.  To do that, my suggestion would be to use a crate (most dogs learn to love their crates) and hire a dog walker for midday if you have serious work obligations.  No tiny dog can hold it for 16 hours, and even 8 is a stretch for some.  Their bladders just aren't that big;-)