housebreaking method

Question
I'm having some trouble with my 14 week labradoodle puppy with housebreaking. If I leave door open, he usually goes out by himself. Sometimes door is closed or husband or kids are watching him and aren't being careful and he's still peeing on floor and they usually don't catch him peeing. (He refuses to bark or whine to go outside, even when I've tried to induce him with several tricks. He's just not a barker) My trainer helping me with my labradoodle said the whole idea of "having to catch your puppy in the act" to correct him is bullshit. He said dogs are very smart (especially mine) and know they've done something wrong. So he said go ahead and show him the pee and give him hell (shake his scruff and scare him) then take him out, let him pee, then love on  him to show him you're not mad at him anymore.
He cited as an example of dogs knowing when they've done something bad: when you come home after a whole day and your dog is looking as guilty as hell about something. You search around and eventually find out what he did. My trainer says the dog knows exactly what he did wrong and it was done hours ago. (tearing up toilet paper. Eating your candle etc.)

Do you have any suggestions and does my trainer sound correct? (He speaks before all sorts of vet doc conferences etc. He's real well-known for also dealing with all animals, problematic and normal, not just dogs.)

Answer
How do I begin to answer this?
I first have to get a big dose of anger swallowed.
That person should never be allowed to come into contact with an animal, and I suspect with a child.
Were this person not descended from such a long line of out of matrimony matings, and so totally full of barnyard manure, he would know better than to utter such nonsense.
If you believe in raising a child by fear, rather than reasonable parenting, then I guess it would make sense to raise a dog by fear.
You Can get them to do as you DEMAND, but they will not love you, they will live in fear, and if they get a chance to escape from you, they will.
To scare the devil out of them, then turn around and love them lavisly, will only confuse them, and make a nervous wreck out of them.
What a terrible life for the poor thing to have to live.
I am 71 years old, as of last Wednesday, and I have been responsible for housebreaking and training my own dogs since I was 3 years old. I have trained hundreds.
I have made docile, well behaved dogs out of dogs of all size that would bite their own master, but I have never yet been even nipped.
You don't teach anything by fear tactics. You get obedience, but you don't get respect shown to you, and you don't get love.
The proper way to housebreak is to watch when they start to squat and grab them up, take them outside and when they go, praise them lavishly. Tell them what a good dog they are etc.
When they have an accident in the house, I take them to it and point to it, say, "Look at that, you know better". I yake them outside and say "Go out here"
I raise animals just like I raise children.
You do it with love and instruction, and understanding that it takes awhile to get it just right.
Your husband and kids are working against you when they don't follow through with taking the dog out.
This little fellow is learning it is ok sometimes.
Make the husband and children clean up the pee spots. that might train THEM a little.
How old are these kids?
If I were going to throw a fit, it would be at the hubby and kids.
Install a doggy door, then the little fellow can come and go as he pleases.
They don't cost much, and they are worth a ton of trouble.
Sorry, but you didn't do a very good job of teaching your children.
You didn't tach them to take responsibility.
Is it their dog too?
Will they go through life letting someone else do what they don't want to bother with?
Does this make sense to you?
When a child does something they are not supposed to do, say, leave their dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, you grab them by the scruff of the neck and give them hell. Shake the living daylight out of them . Tell them you hate them and threaten to burn up all their toys.
Then when they DO pick up their clothes, say "Oh you are so perfect, and I love you so much when you do as i want, but not when you don't"
That's a good way to to raise patients for a Psychiatrist.
It is NOT a way to raise well behaved, confident children.
I know I have been hard on you, but I really think you knew better.
That jerk couldn't be more wrong!
Go with your heart, and raise this little puppy with love and instruction. Be patient and SHOW him what you want him to do.
The way this jerk told you to do it is rank abuse.
If I were close enough to reach him, and saw him treat a dog like that, I would slap the crap out of him, and take the dog away from him.
I don't hit chilfren or dogs, and don't go around slapping people, but this creep deserves to be made the acception.
Charlotte