Splitting up with dogs

Question
Hello,

I have 2 wonderful puggles 2.5 & 3.5 years respectively.  My girlfriend of 6 years and I ended our relationship 5 months ago.  They still live with me in a home I rent with yard etc.  Now my ex wants to take one of the dogs.  The thought of separating them is cruel to me.  My questions are:  How bad is it for them? and Do you know of any legal resources my a non-married couple separating with pets?   Thank you in advance.

Answer


Hi Paul,

How well the two dogs would do if they were split up, really depends on the temperaments of the dogs. Are they pretty co-dependent on one another, or are they more independent? Have you've taken just one dog out, perhaps to a vet appointment or a another such outing, and left the other dog home alone? How did the dogs react to not having his companion with him or her? If the dogs have been calm in the past when separated (even if it's only been for a short while) then the dogs would probably adapt to living separately now.

Of course, the dogs will need time to adjust to the new living situation. When the dogs are divided up, both you and your former girlfriend should spend extra time with each dog (in your respective homes), and give them extra exercise during the adjustment period, which helps a dog feel calmer.

If the dogs have a history of not doing well when separated for even short periods of time, then your situation is more complex. One of you, will have to give up on having a dog, as the dogs would have a harder time adjusting if they're split up. The person who has done most of the pet care (walking, feeding, veterinary care, etc.) is the person who should have "custody" of the dogs. An option would be to have shared ownership, so that (for example) each party may have both dogs for six months of the year, or another option is to establish a visitation schedule.

Having joint custody for six months at a clip can work quite well with dogs who are properly socialized and easy going in demeanor. They will be able to handle the changes in routine and lifestyle that come with a joint custody situation. This also works well when the people who are separating can get along amicably and stay positive about the situation. This situation can have added benefits including a built in dog sitter when one half of the arrangement needs to travel. It can also be a financial benefit to both parties as the financial responsibilities can be divided along with the custody.

If neither you or your former girlfriend is willing to compromise, you may end up with a canine custody battle in court. To be successful in court, you may want to gather photos of you and the dogs to assert your emotional connection to your dogs. Remember that a judge will probably not understand your emotional connection to your dog, and cannot decide based solely on that, so bring any evidence you have of owning the dogs, such as vet records or contracts.

Since you've asked, here are some articles on the subject:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2008-05-27-dogs-divorce_N.htm

http://articles.directorym.com/Avoid_a_Canine_Custody_Battle-a918718.html

There's a book you should look for:
"We Can't Stay Together for the Dogs: Doing What's Best for Your Dog When Your Relationship Breaks Up" by Jennifer Keene. Published by TFH Publications (April 2008), ISBN-10: 0793806240


I hope I've been a help.
Best of luck,

Patti