Anxiety Licking

Question
I have read your biography and agree to review and rate your answer fairly within three days. My two year old Cava Tzu Tucker, who I got from an online "breeder" (I am sure now that it was a puppy mill) has had aggression issues from almost the minute I got him off of the plane at 8 weeks old.  If we tried to take tissue out of his mouth (he would find tissue anywhere he could) he would growl, bear his teeth and BITE.  All 5 of our family members had waited so long to get a dog,we just wanted to love, hold, hug him 24/7, and we tried, but he would get away as soon as possible.  At 11 weeks, the growling/snapping was so bad, I hired a trainer right away, since I had grown up with dogs, I knew this was not normal behavior for a puppy.  I started doing a lot of reading and was learning about ALPHA behavior, and knew we had ALPHA dog. Trainer did little good, but got us to at least get him do "drop it" with the tissue and a few other minor things. He is NOT aggressive with food or any other thing except dirty underwear -gross. He is extremely motivated by smell.  He is picky about what he eats and will NEVER just gobble something without  smelling it first, and usually rejects it.  He eats dry food with a handful of people food mixed in. I made the huge mistake of not neutering him right away and haven't been able to afford it since.  My husband is out of work and we CANNOT do it and there are no free clinics in my area.  He is totally housebroken, but he MARKS on every corner or low object in our house.  Of the thousands of MARKS, we  have CAUGHT him in the act only about 6 times.He is so sneaky with this and obviously know it is wrong.  Have tried the nose in it and punish words and of course, after the fact, he looks at me like WHAT?  We deal with the aggression issue by not taking tissue from him unless he drops it - which he does, same with underwear.  The marking is ridiculous, and I know not to ask two questions, but he licks his lips a lot when he is  around me, and yet he can't bear to be away from me - I'm definitely the MOM, I don't know about being the alpha.  HELP - with the marking - the licking is really background that I am curious about.  Did I do something to him as a puppy?  Do we love him too much?  Can we fix the marking at this point in his life or is it TOO late. 90% this is a sweetheart dog that we adore.
 Thank you

Answer
Hi Lisa,

Thank you for reading my bio and agreeing to the Virutal Contract to read and rate my response within three days.  Much appreciated!

While the subject of your question reads "Anxiety Licking", the body of your question addresses many issues other than what you're calling anxiety licking such as a biting-aggression issues stemming from what reads to me to be resource guarding, inappropriate elimination or marking, an inability to neuter your dog which may be a puppy mill dog (and thus certainly not a dog who should be bred in order to improve the breed), and your belief about some myths that the dog is doing any of these things because he's "Alpha."  The "Alpha" part has no bearing on Tucker's behavior, and the notion that he's "Alpha" won't in any way lead you toward any productive resolution of his current issues.

These are simply too many issues for me to address at any length in this somewhat modest format.  You might want to think about finding a veterinarian behaviorist to address the myriad issues you have.  It's good that you're happy with 90% of who your dog is.  That bodes quite well.  My feeling is the 10% that's concerning you is worth an investment in a good veterinarian behaviorist if the trainer you worked with (and I don't know what methods he/she might have used - perhaps other than truly positive methods?) didn't seem to work out for you.  You may be able to work out a payment plan which will allow you to help your dog. Or, you may want to consider bartering services if such is allowed in your state and you have a service which you can offer to a veterinarian behaviorist's office, such as word processing, computer skills, art work, fixing items, designing or organising a space, etc.

As for the myriad issues you've reported, including Tucker's not being neutered, it's my belief that all those issues can be addressed successfully if you're the type of person who can be compliant with good suggestions and stick with a training programme for several months, possibly even a year.  That means simply staying with the programme, not needing to have a "live-in" vet behaviorist or trainer; just following to the letter the advice that's given to you, every day, every time you interact with your dog, no time off and no holidays on the protocols given to you.  

Often it's best to work with a veterinarian behaviorist about once a month after the initial visit, or whatever that professional recommends; and a qualified, positive methods trainer weekly for a while in order to help you correctly and effectively implement any exercises or training which a veterinarian behaviorist may impart to you.  Know that training and modifying behavior takes time.  It won't have a full effect in a week, or even a month most likely.  Those kinds of results are rare.  

Training, retraining your dog and modifying your dog's behavior will more likely take the better part of a year, with your being able to see little changes gradually along the way.  Animals may also regress, and seem to be better last week than they are this week, and then improve again.  Improvement isn't always linear, even though we'd like it to be.  Sometimes it seems to be two steps forward, one step back, with a big burst forward at some point along the way if the owner does the homework.  However, a year goes quickly and in that time you could have a great dog who's learned to be a wonderful, well behaved companion.  In order for the training to stick, it takes a real commitment and effort on the part of the owner(s).

Yours is a good question to post a response to so that others may note that the Buyer Needs to Beware when having dogs shipped across the country from what may be puppy mills.  In a scenario such as that, you don't get to meet the puppy beforehand, nor are you able to meet the parents and see what their behavior is like.  The trip itself can traumatize some dogs, and this may affect their behavior in negative and insistent, lasting ways.  Unfortunately, you learned your lesson in a difficult way.  However, what's done is done, and my personal feeling is that when you take the life of a pet into your home, you're responsible for that pet, including neutering your pet for health reasons and to prevent unwanted pregnancies which may result in more (temperamentally not quite as sound as they should be, based on what you've written to me) puppies.  I'm sorry if that may seem harsh.  It's not meant to be.  I realize that my honesty and candidness may be reflected in your rating of my response.  I'm not going to sacrifice my honesty or mince words and compromise what I feel needs to be said hoping to get a good rating.  However, my honesty is always politely delivered and well-intended.

What I'm hoping is that if others read this before they get a pup from what may be a mill that they'll not make the same mistake and learn from yours; and, if they do, that they'll step up and know that certain responsibilities, such as spaying and neutering, come with dog ownership and to be prepared for and anticipate those expenses.

Good luck.  I hope you can find the right professional to help you.  With some creativity, as mentioned, you may be able to work out a way to get Tucker the neutering and the behavioral help he needs.

With best regards,
Madeline at AllExperts

Revision to Response on 11/23/09 after questioner rated my response and made gracious and fair comments:
Dear Lisa,

I was so pleased to read your generously offered, kind and honest comments after your rating of my response.  It is indeed very satisfying when one's honesty is appreciated and understood as the well meaning and educational advice it was intended to be.  Your comments were so gracious and fair, that today I am sending a donation out to http://www.puppymillrescue.com/ in the amount of $50.00.  This organization seeks to educate the public about puppy mills through rescue and adoption of rescued puppy mill dogs.  Their mission is an admirable cause, and I hope others, in reading, will seek to support it too.  I want you to know that your question and your comments made me seek out this organization and made this donation happen!

Many thanks,
Madeline at AllExperts
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Answer revision dated 11/24/09:
Lisa,

I was unable to make the donation to puppymillrescue.com and contacted them about the difficulty I was having making a dontation from their Web site with PayPal.  They did not respond to my e mail about how to make a donation, so I changed the organization to which I donated.  

I have completed a donation to http://www.unitedagainstpuppymills.org/alert.html in the amount of $50.00.  This donation was prompted by your question and your subsequent rating and comments about my response.  I let United Against Puppy Mills (UAPM) know that my donation was prompted by your question, ratings, and comments, and have invited them to view your question details here at AllExperts.

Thank you!

Best regards,
Madeline